Muh. Um. ...mm.
[thinks]...hello. I woke up from a nap. Well, that was a while ago but I guess I'm still in my "huh" mode, although I managed to eat dinner already somehow. I was half conscious. And then after I ate I had to endure my mum being persistant with the "getting into National Honors Society" thing. I don't want to be in it. I don't think I could make it anymore clear. She seems pretty certain that if I don't get in, my future will be complete crap. I don't know how she figured that all out right now, but if she's right, then why am I alive? [note: when I talk about those things, it doesn't have anything to do with depression, it's just...a real question. It seems like many people will think if you talk about death/suicide then something is wrong with you, but there isn't anything wrong with me, although maybe you'll have to judge that for yourself]. Actually, there is nothing to look forward to anyway. In general. Yup, I'm being incredibly vague, but it's true. At least, on a daily basis there is nothing to look foward to, but I guess you all knew that already. I guess if my mum said something like "I'm disappointed in you" that would make it worse, but she just seems annoyed with me. I had a hard time understanding why I must
get into NHS. I really
don't understand, so I'm probably stupid, right.
My back teeth always seem to hurt a bit. I guess I need to floss them. Not that I have any right here with me. If you don't floss, then...you really should. Gee, wasn't that profound? But honestly, I think I've only been flossing regularly for the past few years and it makes a big difference (unless you don't eat any solid foods...or anything at all that can get stuck in your teeth, I guess).
Today ...oh, you know today was crappy. I've got a physics quarterly on Thursday, I found out today. Yay. Another D for me! I always assume that I wouldn't fail anything (although I think I've failed some things in math, but meh) which is as optimistic as I'll get.
I had some odd dream, but I forget what it is. ...pretty much. I think I remember .01% of it. And then there's always something else, but it doesn't mean anything, I guess. I woke up thinking it was Tuesday morning, which screwed me up for a bit.
I realized that during lunch, the cafeteria is pretty loud, yet somehow it doesn't bother me (when I try to sleep, that is. Not much trying, I just...sleep. Could I be that tired?).
I think I gained back the weight I lost just eating meat, veggies and fruit during the three day weekend. I guess it had a lot to do with the seder. Well, it's not like I'm going to another one ever again. At least I don't celebrate Easter, from what I've heard it seems like people just stuff themselves to death on that day. Or the kids in my homeroom class spent it that way. That sounds like a really pointless way to spend a holiday, to tell you the truth. But maybe I shouldn't jump to conclusions since I don't celebrate it. I think the only way for me to lose weight is to not eat, which I don't feel like doing, you know.
Christian was nice enough to send me a CD of his band von
, which I got on Saturday, although now I think I am sending one of my CDs to him, which may not be much of a fair trade. But I guess they are both round plastic discs with data in em that...play sounds. See, they're practically the same! Right
. And he got to see GYBE last night, fufufhuf well... that is neat I guess. Someday they'll come around here again and I'll get to see them too.
I wrote some things yesterday that didn't post, and not that it's very interesting, but I'll assume I spent some time writing it. I also have some crappy photos
from yesterday. Aren't you lucky?
There are Velvet Teen
shirts. In XL. They didn't sell any on the tour. [shrugs]. Neh, I don't need any more clothes. They weren't selling these buttons
either. Poo. Those are really cute buttons. I bought a little set of buttons, but alas, they are uncute. They resemble the cover of Out of the Fierce Parade
so you see, it is bleak and sad with birds flying nowhere, not cute little + - =
signs. Sniff. I like cute things. Why must I be denied the cuteness? It's...it's...
...what am I TALKING about? Sometimes I wish I didn't have the internet at all, but I do, unfortunate for you, eh? I think people are trying to hurt me...
nono! Not at all. I'm fine. YAY YAHOO [does some cartwheels, well, not really] and I subjected Stephanie to correcting my English paper, but I don't think she minded. Now I am guaranteed an A! YES!
Well, I went to NY to see the Miyazaki short cartoon things, and they were very cute. The first one was so funny, "Panda Go Panda", just because whoever they got to be the voice of the big panda was hilarious (although I don't think it was intentional, the panda had some kind of weird accent and voice). I can't really explain it anymore, although I think you can buy the video on Amazon.com or something. The other two movies were very cute, although not really as silly. They were just nice movies for kids, I think. I enjoyed them too, of course.
And I finally got "Quite is the New Loud" by Kings of Convenience. It's lovely. ...well, I knew that already. That is what Audiogalaxy is for. Ah. I bask in Scandinavian-ness. And odd-ness.
I realized that I may not like the idea of sleeping as much as the idea of not being awake. Except the only other way to not be awake woudl be to make myself go unconscious (head-bashy) or kill meself, or have a stroke, and sleeping is easier to do than all those. So I sleep. But it's not really that satisfying. Actually, nothing is, I realized.
[Isn't this a nice uplifting entry? Yes!]
Oh, there are nice photos
of the Velvet Teen. Kind of makes the photos
Diana and I (well, I took one photo, I guess) took not look so nice. Nono, they must be eradicated! FOOM! Foom? ...we sat the whole time. Heehee.
....I want to...not be...something...something.....oh...crap.
. And this
is chewbacca Thom from the Grammy Awards.