January 31, 2002

Which Willy Wonka Character Are You?

So true. That's probably the most true..thing. Yeah.

I'm watching..TV! PBS! Frontline. Something about teenage brains. So far, I'm not relating to any of this stuff...thank god.

But honestly...am I the only teenager who has to desire to experiment with drugs and alcohol, or to go out and do social things? I guess I'm got the angst though. Damn!

I took a nap. YAHOO! That made me...happy.

Crap, I've got English homework crap crap. Crap. Stuff. CRAP. ...I'm fine. This posting was pointless. BUT I'M AUGUSTUS YEAH!
I went to acid planet to register...but apparently I already did. This must have been years ago. And the profile name I chose was...Rufus. Rufus? RUFUS! Weird. I should probably change that since my name isn't...Rufus. I'll change it to...carbon monoxide! Yeah, I love that carbon monoxide, don't you?

*seeing Rufus in 2 weeks, by the way. woo!*

It's the last day of January. Woohooo. What a fun January this was. Today it's cloudy and rainy...woo! Love that gloomy weather! YEEHAW! *atchoo*...it's cold. Oh, I should turn the heater on then...yeah, I'm a bit slow. "I'm freezing my butt off...maybe I should turn the heat on."

Oh, don't you love the page I made? It's quite an unknown fact about me, that I used to be a giant tree (whoa, I made a rhyme). Uploading my songs, in case some how all my stuff happened to disappear off the face of the earth. Tell me if they work or not. I think its nicer to have a page at acid music than say, mp3.com...not as commercial. And it's not like I want to sell my music, I just wanna stick it somewhere. mp3.com is a pain in the butt, if you ever try to put music there. I uploaded something there months ago, and just today I got an e-mail about it, saying I had to do something so they could verify it, and that was AGES ago. I mean, I had totally forgotten about it. So yeah, it sucks.

Oh, Rebecca, I made you a CD. You'll can have it when I get a letter from you. HAHAHAHAHAHA! MWAAHHAh! HAAAAAAA AHHAHA---

*bursts into flame from pure psycho-evilness*

...man, I hate it when that happens. Bursting into flames is a bit annoying. It's one of the downsides of being evil I guess. Satan hasn't really worked out all think kinks yet, believe it or not.

School...was boring. Nothing new. Physics is crazy, all this electrical crap kind of makes sense, but I can't really...make sense out of it. Don't you see? My brain doesn't like physics! It likes FOOD.

During lunch I slept the entire period. I didnt really have any work...that I felt like doing. The period felt INCREDIBLY long. It was weird. I listened to Even...got though 9 songs. Just left it on while I looked like I passed out, most likely. I know I must have really been sleeping at some point because when I woke up I found that I had drooled...a little. Oh yes, like a baby. Don't you tell me that you've never drooled in your sleep, because I'd know that you're lying.

See which Greek Goddess you are.

HAHAHA man, that was a dumb quiz. Nothing fit me. I guess I haven't got what it takes to be a GREEK GODDESS, whatever shall I do...

January 30, 2002

I dunno how I did this, but it's kind of useless since I can't seem to view my message. Oh well, I just wanted to see if I could actually do it.

...oh wait, it worked. Hm. Oh well. See how it works and then...maybe I'll take it down and try something else. I still want a cookie.

Take the What Type of Kleenex Would You Be? Quiz

Man, that rules. I am so frickin happy, I could die.

From here:

At this time you are really feeling quite exhausted by all the conflict and quarrelling that is going on about you and you are looking for some sort of protection from this state of affairs. Ideally you are seeking a peaceful condition and a tranquil environment in which you can be afforded the chance to relax and recover.

You are finding the present situation extremely demanding and you're having difficulty coping with the situation. A great deal of strain is involved and you would really like everyone and everything to leave you alone for a while, just so that you can put everything into perspective.

Your confidence has been shattered... There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled, and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination... they are real, and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavour...but in order to develop your "inner- self" you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals.. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.

Whatever you strive to do, something always seems to be holding you back. There is no subterfuge in you. You are a clear thinker and all you demand from life, in a relationship, is a partner whom you can trust and with whom you can, together, develop a foundation of trust based on understanding. You are your own person... and you demand freedom of thought ...to follow your own convictions. You have no interest in "two-timing" and all you seek is sincerity and "straight-dealing".

You are fed up with other people trying to influence you, and you also feel that it is necessary to protect yourself from the threat that your independence and freedom may be restricted. You would just like to be left alone...

I have no clue whether or not that is true. I'll tell you what colors I picked though: gray, blue, orange, green, red, yellow, purple, and black. I don't really understand my results though. My present situtation? What? You mean sitting here and doing pretty much nothing, wondering what I should be doing but not doinb it cos I don't know what it is? Peace and solace? WHAT? There is no "someone close", no offense to then handful of you who read this...hm.

Eh...I don't really demand much from life. Or. Actually...neh, I have no idea. I don't wanna think about it. Other people don't try to influence me, they just do. I like the "You would just like to be left alone..." part, HAR HAHR AHRHIAHR&Y*ASHD because it's true and not true at the same time. Yay. YAY! YAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAHAHISIUDhesigh.

Which Moral Minority persona are you?
by phatjoe

I'm afraid I just don't get that one.
Heehee, I'm listening to a CD Diana made for her VGWD studio of ROOOCCCKKK...anyway. There's a scary skit of the Kid A blinky bear going crazy. Kind of. Maybe I'll put a sound clip up...it's funny! And odd. "What the hell is that? Aw, it's so cute...IASHGDYGUAUTYASD"...

Heehee. It is cute.

Woo, I'm home. Today...sucked I guess. WEE! Every class was EQUALLY boring! Yes! The joy! The...um.

I got a B in physics. OO EVEN DIANA PUT EVEN ON THE CD...whoa. Sorry about that. Um. Even; he still rules. Anyway. I got a B. I guess it could be a mistake, or...man, I dunno. But that's preeeetty peachy. My mum thinks that having 2 Bs on a report card is ONE TOO MANY. Well, as long as I know she's being stupid, doesn't really matter I guess. She'll never think that having Bs (gasp) is okay. I think that she thinks the average world is retarded, and that having Bs is bordering on average, and my standards are too low, and blah, it's stupid I think, yeah?

Listening to "Good Souls" by Starsailor now...mm. Hm. It's okay. I don't see myself loving the band though...is it JUST me? Yikes.

*blinky the bear blinky the bear blinky the bear*...

oh, he's not evil. he's too cute to be evil. heehee...

Oh, I'm on this CD! Oh...I sound stupid. Nothing new. "How Fast Can Robyn Play" is what it's called. "Not very..." Yeah. O, alright, you wanna listen to it? Hehe, I didn't think so. Man, I laugh for an idiot...I guess I do deserve to be beaten up.

ANYWAY. I've never been beaten up, I wonder why. Or maybe not. Actually, I'm not wondering that at all.

The weather is weird as hell for NJ. It's in the 50s. It feels like SPRING. Except for all the dead trees. It took me a while to realize what felt so weird, but then...I realized. This is like the weather in Taiwan. Winter weather, that is. Cloudy, 50s, a little breezy, or humid. I had the strangest feeling all morning and then I figured it out. Weather brings up weird feelings, I'm telling you...

And a note for Diana (or...um...anyone), I use Acid Music to put all my songs together. Haven't used Fruityloops in a bit...hm. Maybe I WILL! Um. Well first I play something a bunch of times, pick the best time I play it and make it into a loop and then loop it over and over because there's no way in hell I could play the same thing perfectly over and over again. I put reverb on the guitars cos it seems to sound better that way. And then I stick in drum crap. That song I did yesterday ends funny...um...oops. Didn't mean to. Oo, rebbie, would you really buy a CD? I could use the money. Oh, you know what would make things easier, if you just sent me money...period. :)

January 29, 2002

Jesus crap, I can't believe I spent about 4 hours doing this. I can't keep in time at all! RAAAR whatever good mood I was in 4 hours ago is no more. Hmm...I probably wasn't in a very good mood anyway. I hate all this buzzing noise...f...fggghghsdoiadsw!&^!53f...*sob*...you can't hear it as much in realaudio though, which is a nice thing I guess.

wondering right now what normal people are doing...

A Libido CD was supposed to come out today...but apparently, it hasn't. Isn't. Hm. I don't even know what's on it. It might be a reissue or something. But no website says...what...it...is. Sigh.


Sorry. There's a lot of buzzing coming out of my computer, and it's really annoying.

Haven't done any homework. HAHA. It's only 8 something...crap...what the. Ugh. coming upon the realization that today was a complete waste of life...hm.
I'M HOME! SO HAPPY YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH *runs around in circles, hits head on the wall, passes out*

...okay, I'm not really that happy, but I'm just very relieved to be home. School sucked. Actually, after lunch was okay. Everything before that sucks because 1) it's too freakin early and 2) I hadn't napped yet. Heehee. I only took a little nap...really. Even's voice is too....oooo! Too good. It's too good! LIKE ICE SUCKY!

*ice sucky = smoothie, yeah? The last time I had a quickie mart ice sucky was probably 4 years ago. There's some trivia for ye*

Mm. Anyway. Much more tired today than yesterday. Probably cos of that whole lacking sleep problem. This morning was just unbearable, I couldn't concentrate at all. In anything. I kept playing noises in my head. I HATE IT! But I can't really help it, can I? During physics I had nearly no idea what was going on, I kept playing songs in my head, and then during history I got The Recluse stuck in my head, which was weird. All I could think of was "Gotta go home, gotta go hooome! Gonna forget everything! My head! AHHH!" and lo and behold, I think I have forgotten whatever tune I made up in my head. Thought I'd do another song (shouldn't Ihave homework or something?) but I dunno, forgot...sigh. Yeah, it probably sucked anyhoo. :)

Oh yeah, another nice thing about physics, today we had a QUIZ. About. Potential energies of electric stuff? I think I got a C, which is pretty amazing considering I dunno what I was doing. Honest. But the whole class was really confused. I guess they weren't paying attention either. I think my teacher is very disappointed with my class...hell, I would be too.

Math quiz was alright. I probably got a B. But. Yeah. Polar notation all the way. Woohoo.

English was the weirdest. I'm going to do Jack Kerouac for my essay...cos...most of the other authors were already taken. Well, the ones I could recognize. The past summer I read about 10 pages of "On The Road" before falling dead asleep, good eh? Then the teacher put us in groups and we had to do poems. Oh yeah, I had a great group. We had to use onomotopoeia (I must have spelled that wrong, but ye know, crappit, my teacher didn't even attempt to spell it) and for the first 15 minutes we did...uh...nothing. Then I made up my own poem about sounds on a farm (excerpt: "Oink goes the pig / Squeak goes the mouse / Meow goes the cat / Who lives in the house" I'm the reincarnation of Edgar Allen Poe, wouldn't you say?) and another guy in my group made up a poem about Batman. Okkaay. There's this really odd person in my class who was sitting near us, and one of his friends was in my group. So, he pointed at each of us and went "YOU suck, YOU suck, YOU suck, your whole GROUP sucks" and at some point he took my paper (it was blank at the time), crumpled it up and threw it across the room. It's a good thing that by then I was in a not-bad mood, I just thought it was funny, because it was really...dumb. And sad. Why...that guy even criticized the japanese stickers on my folder. "What is that? Turds? You have turd stickers?" The thing is, they do look lik turds, the little bread people, so I wasn't sure what to reply...hm.

And that is my life. Oh booooy. A girl in my English class said I reminded her of that asian girl from GIlmore Girls. This was after the teacher called out our groups...I said in a most monotone voice, "Oh, I am so happy." Hooyeah.

And then. At some point I got home. I filled myself with lamp meat and tofu. Heeheehee. That might sound gross. But it was quite good. The tofu was in these really thin layers all stacked on each other...er...alright. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about...

January 28, 2002


...this is completely useless. I just spent a while typing up an entry, that even though was completely pointless (like everything else) still took a while, and then...Juno crashed. So. Starting from scratch, I don't know what I said before. Except that right now I'm listening to loads of unintelligible words spurting from the inner bowels of Ade Blackburn (I'll attemp to learn the names). Download "Cement Mixer" by Clinic, it's fun in a freakin bun.

I really can't do my report on Orson Scott Card...duh. I'm stupid. He writes science fiction/fantasy stuff that doesn't really suit my essay, I think, and I haven't been able to find ANYTHING about him. Well. Not really. I was thinking Ayn Rand would be an interesting person to do a report on, and I know she wasn't born in the US, but isn't living here a bit...enough...maybe. Maybe. Not. I hate. This. Funny, I would like to cry...but that's a big lie, actually. The problem is that I don't want to at all. I don't really feel...um...anything.

Oo, wait, frustrated! Yeah, okee. Now I'm absolutely glowing with pride. Teeheehaahaaharhar.

I'm liking this song more than before...for some reason. Don't know. Don't care. Wooo. You know, it would have been nice if someone had told me that EVER SINGLE FREAKIN LINK on that page was wrong. But then I guess it wouldn't have been possible since no one goes there...hm. Alright then.

Oh, they don't always wear the face masks...I feel so crushed. *sob*...:P Oo, there's a lot of nice stuff at this site. I know what Steph wants...blue haired guys. Actually, it's just one. Not everyone in Muse dyes their hair blue I guess.

Can't find any literary criticism crap about Dave Barry. Oh well. I guess I'll have to pick a boring dead author now..HAR HAR HAR...Um.

Oh my god...ENDERCON! Okay, I'm not obsessed with the book, but it's really good, if I do say so myself. That's just kind of scary. Maybe I can do Orson Scott Card instead of Dave Barry. Probably won't find anything...*sigh*...well, I'll ask my teacher. Ooh, I guess I need to read this too...

I'm not an avid reader. I don't want to steer you wrong...I'm mainly...uh. I dunno. Mainly sitting here. Or eating. Apparently, I'm not supposed to eat nuts and raisins as though I had an endless supply. I figured it would be better than eating tons of...bread, or cookies, or something. Technically it is, but you can always have too much of something I guess. How depressing. WANT THE EFFFFIN RAAISINS! (don't you know my good friend )...holy crap, I love happy noodle boy to death oo gonna diiiieee!

MWAAAHAHASHAHHA HAR HAR HAR HASRH HR HAR *spitoot*...*seizures*....I demand ice sucky....HOLY CRAP ITS SKETTIOS!

...*catches breath*...god, times like this I think I need more human interaction, but then I wouldn't really want to do that to another human, you see? It's like some cruel cycle of CRUELNESS...no, I don't know what I'm talking about.

Jesus crap, where the hell is everyone. Crap, I have to study precalc. I have a quiz on polar notation stuff that doesn't make much sense and I highly doubt I'll need it ever in life, but anyhoo. That is life. To cram my little skull full of useless information so one day I can be eaten alive by rabid monkeys who think I'm a giant banana cos I'd be dressed in a giant banana suit because...I would just wake up one morning dressed as a banana.

I'm sorry that you're reading this...

Whoa, what the hell, on the Console CD there are 15 tracks at the end that are about 6 seconds long and played all together it's like a song, somewhat...this cd is very good, by the way, "Rocket in the Pocket", why don't I hear about these things in the year they come out? In the MILLENNIUM they come out? Sigh.

Can someone tell me what happened to my archives page? It looks really screwed up, right? How did that happen...well, obviously I just put the code in wrong. But maybe I should leave it, eh? Apparently, I used to hardly update back in the year 2000. What does this mean? I think it's really sad. It means I'm changing for the worse. I didn't expect that to happen, I honestly thought stuff was pretty bad way back when...sigh. And I know I post too much because at pro blogger it calculates your post history:

Month Post Length % of 100K Extra Cost
9/2000 32354 %32 $0
10/2000 21655 %22 $0
11/2000 40692 %41 $0
12/2000 49305 %49 $0
1/2001 71122 %71 $0
2/2001 29748 %30 $0
3/2001 66124 %66 $0
4/2001 63798 %64 $0
5/2001 53171 %53 $0
6/2001 44813 %45 $0
7/2001 53916 %54 $0
8/2001 113323 %113 $3
9/2001 144693 %145 $3
10/2001 109071 %109 $3
11/2001 103956 %104 $3
12/2001 154618 %155 $3
1/2002 172784 %173 $3

I'm at 173% this month, and it's not even the end yet. Oh my god. Damn. Then again, typing about how much stuff I post isn't really helping the cause. I'm abnormal...ffff....

This scares me. Just because it's...trendy? Is it? People in my school aren't emo. People in my school aren't anything. And neither am I. Yeah, I really should go...
Yuffie26: how would you like it if a breast squeezed YOU?

Oh, what other questions will Yuffie26's mind create next? Hmm...

I did another song. This one took longer. I think it sucks more. I KNOW the drums are off, don't remind me...*sigh*. I think I actually played them right, but I didn't play the guitar right. Not that that's very surprising. It's the longest song yet (4:55), and with the most tracks (eleven...see if you can identify them all! It's like a cruel game!). And. Well. There ye go. I think I liked the other song I did on Saturday better...I don't even know what this is! I hate all the damn buzzing GAAR!

Going to sleep last night wasn't easy. My ..fff...ff...my brain! My head. Kept thinking things. Is it possible just to not think? Sigh. Then again, I woke up rather easily with about 4 hours of sleep. I'm good at that...sometimes. I'm reading Xenocide right now, good book! And when a book doesn't bore me to death, that's saying something...most books do, I'm afraid...

I got my Console CD today. Woo! Oo. I wasn't even expecting it. Totally forgot I had ordered it from Columbia House, actually. Hm. Also got the new Rolling Stone, and oo, Clinic is in it! How...nice...yes? With the face masks and all. I guess they never take em off. Maybe they're permanently stuck to their faces...

School was crap. Physics...*shudders*. I am so screwed. I don't KNOW anything! Why is this always happening...WHY? We're doing electricity stuff and it makes no sense, I'm telling you!

English isn't going to be so easy anymore, got this poopin essay to do about an American author. I immediately thought of doing Dave Barry, but he doesn't seem to be one of those classic American authors, eh? I mean, if I can find enough info about him, I can write my essay on him. Then again so many of his books are like autobiographies, and then they're kind of not...and...I've forgotten how to write essays, really.

Sigh. So. Um. Mm. I always have so much to say. And then when I want to say it, I can't think of it. Well, joy then. I HATE THE FFFFF-PHOOONE!

DAMMIT THE DRUMS ARE TOO LOUD fffff...sorry. I'm not chatting with anyone. No one to hear my anger. Heehee.

Another note: cool song I'm listening to right now, "Monkey On Your Back" by Clinic. Honestly, I'm trying NOT to download every single song before I actually buy one of their CDs...but it's kind of hard. I won't mooch off audiogalaxy forever...*looks at wallet*...I have enough dough to buy one CD. Oo...
Holy crap, this rules. That's Clinic on WFMU. Oo...Even was on WFMU!!!... Here's a page with the setlist. Now I can hear what the dude is saying a bit more clearly. Does it make any more sense? Hell no! Tiki tiki ta ma ma nan...oh, you know you love it. ...hm.

But...JESUS CRAP, the concert I want to go to is on a Thursday night. WHY. Why can't think just work out and be on Friday or Saturday nights for me. Ugh. Will that prevent me from going? No. But if I do go, I'll certainly be half dead in school the next day. Either that or full of energy...hm. But now I really wanna go see em, oo oo! Diana, you better come with me!!!

Oo, I wish Steph could come...

Why am I still up? I have school tomorrow. Turns out I didn't have much homework. Well, I didn't try to do my physics. I looked at it. Anyone know crap about capacitators and...uh..other crap? Yeah. Alright then. And I had the sudden idea to do another song but I didn't get very far, a few guitar parts that suck ass, well then. I'll work on that tomorrow. It's pretty bad though. Sigh...

Happy Monday morning to you all. Isn't it glorious. Yes. Please shoot me.

this is the 6th entry I've done today...somewhat. do I get a spot on the loser-hall-of-fame? hooyeah!

January 27, 2002

Once again, I am here. What, is this the 5th time I've updated today? Well obviously I ended up not going anywhere. Hm.

Do check out the band [vo:n]...or just von. Mm. Anyway. Some nice stuff going on there, trust me. Listening to "Azure" right now. Sign their guestbook. What a minute, what am I talking about...sign MY guestbook. :)

Crap, I gotta pee. I really need to take a shower. I've covered with filth, just so you know. It's a good thing I don't have a webcam.

Sometimes I think I was supposed to have been born male. But not really. I'd probably be gay. Actually. This doesn't make much sense. I'm in between. Is there a neutral gender? Hm.

So far, I've done English homework. It took me less than 5 minutes. I just had to type up my poem. I got Diana to critique it, I think that's good enough. Mmhm. I rewarded myself with a cookie for losing about 3 pounds this weekend. But then that cookie probably put all the weight back on. That damn cookie...oh well, it was nice while it lasted.
The ..fff...phone is ringing. I hate phones. Would like to throw it across the room, but then another phone would still ring and that wouldn't accomplish much...

This guitar song is still bugging me! I feel like I need to drag it out to 8-10 minutes. Not that you would need to hear that...just to see if I could make it that long. Yeah I know...I'm weird...well.

I took a 2 hour nap, from about 3:45 to 5:45. Felt a lot longer than that. Naps always feel like that...really long, but then when you actually sleep, it's never enough. Sigh. I woke up feeling rested...and really uncomfortable. I know I had a dream, maybe multiple dreams, but I don't remember any of them. I just remember one part, when I got an e-mail with some info about Libido's CD coming out on Tuesday (at this point I don't really know anything about it). And...well. And then I think I'm home alone, unless my mum is sleeping. I think she went to the supermarket. It's just her and me living here, and I can't even keep track...well, I'm obviously typing away at my computer, not that I needed to tell you that.

I think seeing the moon outside my window made me feel uncomfortable. How? I...don't know. Maybe because I know the next time I go to sleep, it'll be before school. On some level I know that school isn't terrible and horrible and...BLARGH, but on another level I treat it like my execution date. 5 execution dates a week...boy, I'm dying a lot, aren't I. More than the average human being!

Oo, you know what else, I've probably got more arms than the average human being. Think about it for a sec...yeah? Some people dont have arms. So I guess I can say the same about legs, eyes...

I ate an apple. After I woke up. And then I ate...a bunch of walnuts and raisins, as though I've ever eaten before. They're really good, I think if people tried eating something as simple as raisins and nuts, they'd realize that potato chip taste like crap. I don't remember the last time I ate potato chips...

I just remembered something else. I was thinking of my friend, who gets sick a lot (was sick two and a half days last week at least) and I dunno if there's something wrong with her ammune system...she just gets sick a lot. Headaches mainly. She's dependent on Tylenol and things like that. A lot of people are, and to me it's SO FREAKIN OBVIOUS that drugs shouldn't just be treated as a solution to the problem and shouldn't be eaten like candies. A really dumb commercial for Tylenol (or Advil...can't remember) still stands out in my mind, in which this guy was biking and complaining of pain. "So, duh, I just take two of these babies and I'm ready to go!" Okay, that's definitely not what he said. But. Anyway, am I the only one who thinks this is stupid? Don't people realize that even though they take a pill, just because they don't feel the pain doesn't mean the body doesn't? Just because your nerves aren't telling you that your head hurts doesn't mean you're completely healed. I think it's especially dumb if someone takes some kind of pills for muscle aches or whatever, and then they think they're fine and keep doing whatever strenuous activity they were doing before because they're just making it worse...sigh.

I don't do any kind of strenous physical activity. Ah..haha..har..har..I'm a blob.

Another thing about my friend that bugs me is that she says she's a vegetarian. I understand that there are something like 10 (or...well, i don't really know) different kinds of vegetarians, but in my mind the only real vegetarian is a vegan. I don't care what the textbook definition is, to me a vegetarian is someone who only eats...plants. And. Stuff like that. Is a fish a plant? Is a shrimp a plant? I don't know my friend's reasons for being a "vegetarian" but she eats dairy products as well. What's the big difference between eating a steak and drinking a glass of milk? ...don't answer that. I'm not really looking for an answer. I just think sometimes people...aren't thinking! Aren't thinking one bit, and some things are painfully obvious...

*goes into fits brought on by being overconsumed with hopelessness*

...anyway. Listening to Homesick for Space. Just bought their album for $6.50 here. Ooee. Probably wont get it for a while though...ff. Foo. I've downloaded a few of their songs, and they all kind of sound the same, but then I like the sound, so it doesn't really matter does it...

I'm still annoyed by that un-intelligence test. Really dumb, eh? Just that last part, mainly, the other stuff I understand. I'm not violent at all. Well, only in my twisted mind, but besides that...if I was violent, I think I'd be in jail by now. Isn't that nice? I think I'll stab myself now..*stab stab*...ow...gee, blood is messy. sob...i'm alright really.
You're Crunchie!
You're sweet at first, but like all good things, people get sick of you after a while. One good (or bad, depends how you look at it) thing though: you're not available in the US.

...woo. Well that explains everything.

For the record, you are:

59% Un-telligent!
which is normal since the current average is 60%.
Your evaluation is unique, however, so keep reading.

Here is the custom report of your personality that led our team of geeks to conclude (with confidence) that you are moderate but excitingly different:

"The subject shows a very high level of intelligence, and her sense of observation is one of her best qualities. Considering this, she shows a lot of potential, but that's only part of the equation.

"Also, as much as we hate violence, an occasional mauling is one way to solve day-to-day problems like unpleasant coworkers or pesky door-to-door salesmen; she just isn't tough enough, sir, and she avoids any solution that involves violence.

"Finally, the subject displayed a poor (and a little bit boring) sense of humor, a fair and productive sense of morality, and a barbaric self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals."

Final Score: 59% Un-telligent

WHAT the hell! SCREW YOUUU! I have a poor sense of humor? Well then. I wasn't aware. What is unintelligence anyway? Barbaric self confidence? This test is so screwed! I have aboslutely NO self confidence! And my humor, while maybe a bit odd, isn't that poor I think. My morality is higher than that...what..this test is completely wrong!

*sob*...I can't believe I'm so stupid that I can't even take a test about myself correctly. This is depressing, isnt it? IS IT NOT?!
Yikes, I can't believe my physics teacher forwarded this e-mail to all his students:

Take a few minutes and read these. Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one.........IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD especially the thought at the end.

Falling in love.
Laughing so hard your face hurts.
A hot shower.
No lines at the Super Wal-Mart.
A special glance.
Getting mail.
Taking a drive on a pretty road.
Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
Hot towels out of the dryer.
Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.
Chocolate milkshake.
A long distance phone call.
A bubble bath
A good conversation.
The beach.
Finding a $20 bill in your coat from last winter.
Laughing at yourself.
Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
Running through sprinklers.
Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
Laughing at an inside joke.
Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
Making new friends or spending time with old ones
Playing with a new puppy.
Having someone play with your hair.
Sweet dreams.
Hot chocolate.
Road trips with friends.
Swinging on swings.
Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can
sing along without feeling stupid.
Going to a really good concert. !
Winning a really competitive game.
Making chocolate chip cookies.
Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
Spending time with close friends.
Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
Holding hands with someone you care about.
Running into an old friend and realizing that some things never change.
Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
Watching the sunrise.
Halloween Dances
Getting out of bed every morning and thanking God for another beautiful day.

I really dislike those kind of forwards...not really sure why. I never really dwell on those things. Or...think about em. But I have to admit, they are kind of nice things. But...it IS depressing! Most of that stuff isn't going to happen to me anytime soon...except maybe the concerts one (Diana is more into the Clinic concert idea, yes! Eehee!). I don't even understand the "Halloween Dances" one...I really don't like Halloween. I don't really like talking on the phone much. I would probably interpret a "special glance" as something else ("who's that freak?") and...puppies? Never really played with a puppy...hm. Thanking God for a beautiful day? How about praying for a beautiful day? I wake up and think "OH GOD DAMMMIT I HAVE SCHOOOL!" And then there are other things I just won't get into.

Well, hopefully that list makes you feel better than it made me feel, eh? I'm fine though. Sitting here while my dirty laundry gets purified in the washing machine. Always a good way to spend your Sunday. Woo.

I made that guitar song I did yesterday about a minute longer. OH isn't that wonderous, it'll take longer to end now, to end the PAIN! heehee...

I downloaded a cute little song called "Enter Space Capsule" by Gerling. Not really music I usually listen to...actually, I don't even know what this is. Oh well. WOO! Sounds like a song one would...dance too...dance? I'll have to look that up in the dictionary. Alright, now I'm listening to Ted Leo, "Under the Hedge". The first time I heard this song I didn't like it at all, but I guess it's grown on me...like fungus. This guy's voice just annoys me sometimes. Not that it's bad...but...um...:)

Should I eat some lunch? There's a frozen burrito in the freezer just dying to be EATEN! I think.

If you're not thoroughly amused, go to Rebbie's page and look at the conversation she posted. I'm roboppy, by the way. I think it was one of those rare times when the person I was chatting to was weirder than me. Whoa.
I'm still here, which is absolutely pathetic, but I'll post something, YEAH.

The other night I played a very useless game in which I had to name useless things. Well, one person says a useless thing...then I say a useless thing with the next letter of the alphabet. It's not a real game. It's more like the kind you play right before you know you're going to die as your velocity increases, hulring towards the center of the earth. Yay! if you play this game you can come up with great stuff like this:

cottage cheese
emus (later changed to Evhn, in which I cried out in agony DIIE although I didn't really...I need even, duh!)
jack in the box
kaptain kangaroo
lemon on a stick
mangos on a rope
noodle pie
oprah winfrey exercise video
peanut butter and pork
quickie mart (I find those pretty useful though)
roast beef on a stick
soup in a seive
turnip on a stick
umbrellas (later changed to uvulas..umbrellas are useful!)
violin cases full of machine guns
yo-yos (i like yo-yos though)
zenophobia mispelled

...I'm sorry, this was so useless. I'm obviously running out of ideas. And I've used up some bit of your time. OHMYGOD you have any idea how much brain power you've wasted reading this crap? Don't you hate me now? HATE ME DAMMIT!

January 26, 2002


...okay, nothing really terrible has happened. WAIT! What am I talkin about?! Cristen has informed me on the demise of INVADER ZIM, only maybe the coolest cartoon on TEEVEE! Alright, I don't watch TV, and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to watch Invader Zim cos it's on cable, but but but but but...

Sniff. Or sniff. Or...Emmy award?

If I could be as cool as people who wear hats out of meat...

This is amusing too...disgruntled burger king workers unite. I hope I was never an evil employee...

I suppose my dream to own pork4kids.com has been thwarted...by pork4kids.com. whyyy?
I decided I had enough songs to make a music page (link on the left). Mm. I can't believe I'm updating this thing again...sigh.
I made another song...this time electric guitar, bass, and drums. Oo...oo. It's a little longer than the others, although not exactly to GYBE proportions. No 10 minute songs yet. HAHAH..ugh. I could probably drag it out that long...maybe. My basement doesn't have a natural echo, I added that in. Would be odd if my basement had an echo though...

And I cannot play the drums correctly! It's off by a little bit but I'm too lazy to do that over. Oh, what do you expect. I can't help the annoying buzzing that always comes with recording on the computer. Raaar. It didn't take too long at least, as long as everything else takes me I guess. So, do you want to run out of the room screaming your head off yet? :)

I was going to go out somewhere...to BJs I think, with my mum, but we got lazy and we'll go tomorrow I guess. Woo...so I've got a fun filled Sunday ahead of me. Man, I didn't do much today. Hm. Kind of sad isn't it. But then it's only about 7:20...maybe at 8 something will explode and make the day special.

the drums are annoying the hell outta meee...but I'm not a perfectionist, I think....RAAARHHAHRHHASHad spitoot*...

Holy crap, THIS is brilliant...(you may not get it if you haven't seen the "Just" music video, and if you have, isn't it amusing?)
I had an...odd conversation with my mum. Actually, not that odd. Actually...

Yeah, I'm too indecisive. This isn't even a decision. Well, I feel like my family is more screwed up than before. It's not really that screwed up...I think. But I don't know what other families are like. And it's not really my family, as in my mum, my dad, my brother and me, but my dad's side of the family. My mum's parents are dead, and my dad's parents are both alive and doing fairly well for being...old. My grandpa though, he's really terrible, I think. I've always wondered why my dad and his brothers and their kids (well, I might include myself in that bunch also) do everything that Grandpa wants. Kind of. Maybe. Honestly, there is so much I don't know, not knowing Chinese and being me...me. Um. Where am I?

Oh...well, everything is always about money, isn't it? I really dislike money. In a way. I mean, I "need" money to buy things, but in general...sigh, I can't stand so many of the things humans have come up with. Well it turns out my grandpa is a millionaire or something (not sure what the "or something" is, I decided not to ask) because he owns land in Taiwan that he bought ages ago when it was worth crap. But the only reason he's got so much money is because he doesn't spend any. In some ways, my grandpa and his sons are cheap...BEYOND cheap. I know they're not the only ones, but little things that I can observe, like refusing to throw food away and not using napkins and turning the heat way down, I know that's nothing new. But why live in a nice house, a nice town, a nice...place (like my family and my uncles's families) if all you can think about is saving pennies? My grandpa helped to pay for a lot of the house I'm living in right now, same for his other sons and he can control them. They rely on him for money...depend on him, and I don't want to give the impression that we're living in high society. I...I don't know...um. Mm.

Isn't this really pathetic though? My dad and his brothers are in their fifties and they still rely on their dad for money? I found out that my grandpa gave me a lot of money to put into my investments and crap, not that I have any idea what these investments are, it's not as though I asked for them. I know very little, by the way. And about ten years ago, my uncle who lives in Florida had a house built with money from his dad I guess. It's a very nice house too, but it's...scary. I mean, I couldn't imagine being forty-something and my dad telling me that he wants a certain house built in a certain way, and that my family would move there and he would drop by whenever...

I feel bad for my uncle. He wanted to be an engineer, but his dad wanted a doctor in the family so he became a doctor, and I don't think he likes being a doctor. I'm pretty sure he'd much much much rather be an engineer, the house is full of all sorts of neat things that...well, I dunno. But anyway. And my mum said that he wanted to marry someone else, but his parents wouldn't let him because the person he wanted to marry wasn't up to their standards education wise...why would that even matter, I don't know. Some people...

That's terrible, but it's still going on. One of my uncles has two daughters, and one of them got married two summers ago. The younger one...and the older one, I don't know what's going on with her. She's nice, they both are. I think there was someone she wanted to marry, but her parents and grandparents were against it because he didn't come from a nice enough background. I wouldn't even listen to my parents at this point, I think a sane person wouldn't. But I've heard it too, from my grandma. "Marry a doctor...blah blah blah." Jesus crap. It's complete nonsense to me. And then I think my counsin's parents started fixing her up with people. Once she didn't even meet the guy, she met his parents who wanted to see if she was good enough for their son...WHAT?

I think I'm incredibly lucky that my mum is sane. Normal. Has got common sense. I don't know how this happened. I don't know why she married my dad. That might sound like a bad thing to say, in some way, but I don't. I didn't ask her why she did either. My mum comes from a very nice family, in my opinion at least...

Eh...I guess I'm done for now. This isn't very interesting at all, but...mm.

I took the McDonalds test, and guess what I got?

You can take the
McDonalds Product Test
by Matio64

Dammit. Actually. I used to eat the fillet o fish a lot. When I actually went to McDonalds that is....years back.

# 1 Fillet-O-Fish
# 2 McChicken Sandwich
# 3 Chicken McNuggets
# 4 French Fries
# 5 Hamburger
# 6 Happy Meal
# 7 Big Mac
# 8 Cheeseburger
# 9 Thick Shake
# 10 McFlurry

...I'm not a McFlurry. So don't confuse me with one. And you know what, I'm pretty glad that I'm a fillet o fish. It's so fitting.
Oh, I have to see this! recommended ages 3 to 8...well ye know what...I don't care. I'm only twice as old as that, maybe I'll blend riiight in...

Or not. I suppose the only person I can make go with me is Diana. Or my mum. What the heck am I doing, this is in March, I've got a bit of time to think about it...I think I've seen "Panda Go Panda" before. There's a big fat panda in it. Hm. Well, if you live around Manhattan, go! I comman you! The robot commands you!

By the way, the robot is from Laputa which I'm guessing I'll never ever see again. I don't seem to have a video of it. I used to, but it might have been a copy so my mum got rid of it. *somewhat sad*...I like the robots a lot. They're good robots! They used to scare the hell out of me though.

I slept funny last night. I woke up many times to find that I had no feeling in my arm. And another time I woke up and couldn't feel the right side of my face. Hm. I'd think by now I've learned how to sleep properly...

I was looking at my TV, thinking it was full of emptiness, but that's an oxymoron isnt it. Can something be full of emptiness? MWAHAHAHA....I don't know why I had to throw an evil maniacal laugh in there. TVs are kind of creepy...there's nothing on the other side! It's a...box! Well unless you've got a flatscreen TV I guess, but there's nothing in it really, but if you turn it on stuff appears...okay, I guess this wouldn't bother normal people. This is modern life full of wonderous technology, isn't it?

I had some god awful weird dreams last night. I think...because I don't really remember them. It's pathetic as hell I think, that I could be dreaming, and wake up a split second later and forget everything. All I remember is a small part of one dream when I (or maybe I wasn't in the dream but was watching it all like a movie) was at a part with some people. I remember seeing a classmate there who is a pretty quiet guy, and he got all drunk and screwed up, and then I left with some girl I didn't know, and then...the room the party was in filled up with water and some people drowned. It was underground, some small apartment somewhere, and we were walking by and saw water coming out and some people trying to get out, and some people actually getting out...

See, doesn't that sound odd. I've had weirder dreams I guess.

Hey Rebbie, have I gotten rid of the horizontal scroll bar? Sorry about that, I had some tables set in pixels and not percents...me and a handy calculator corrected that. Well. I think.

Oh crap, I'm not done talkin yet. Thom with glasses...yeah that's an old pic I know. But I found it amusing at THIS very moment in time. This picture always maybe me laugh, it looks as though Ed is peeing on the wall. Okay, this one too, since Thom just looks odder than usual. Ooh oh, I like this one of Thom. Not sure why. Well, not everything needs a reason...

Should I stop with the Radiohead pics for now? Mmhm. Sorry if Radiohead makes you puke...eehee.

comment, you meatbag. heehee.

January 25, 2002

Boy, some of the e-mail I get is absolutely AMAZING! JUST LOOK!

- Sexually Attract Women Instantly!
- ADV ADLT Free Naked Western Girls


Sarcasm is my verrry best friend....so are italics...

Today has been a LOVELY Friday. I mean, nothing bad happened in school. I had a sub first period. WOO. I'm kind of disgusted at how terrible kids can act towards nice (but naive) substitutes. We were watching Family Matters for a bit of time, actually. Remember that show? Urkle? *shudders*...

I was awake during physics! Oh...yay...

During history we had to do this thing...activity, about the election og 18...something. Great. Well it was Jackson and Adams. Anyway. We had to make a poster for Adams and a campaign slogan...you wanna hear what my group came up with? Adams: The other white meat...that's NOT a slogan. Jesus, would YOU vote for him based on that? I have to admit though, it was kind of funny, because it was pathetic. I wonder what grade we got.

I went to Mitsuwa. YEAAAH...about as close as I'll get to Japan without going there. First I took out $80 from the bank. Eek. I've got $150 left. Eh..hm. Anyway! Ate some YUMMY CURRY OO YEAH GOD FOOD YEAAAH *i dont know why i'm so hyper right now...freakin curry* and I had this banana cake thing and it was REAL GOOOD YEAAAH. And. I went to Kinokuniya and found two back issues of Rockin On and one of Crossbeat that had various beck/bjork/radiohead stuff in em! Whoa! They're only $2, the back issues, so I was very happy. I mean, usually ONE of those mags is about $7. Yeah. Anyway....um Oh yeah, also got a nice book about "Laputa" which has some drawings and stills from the movie.

So. Ate food. Made me happy. WOO. Screw my intestines! SCREW EM!

I just remembered, the other morning while I was at my locker, this kid asked me if i had gum. Nothing remarkable, I know (except that I NEVER EVER have gum, I don't chew it at all!) but the way he said it, it was like he was afraid of me. And I found that pretty amusing. I'm not really imtimadating I think. He looked like...mm, freshman...or sophomore. It just struck me as...odd.

Someone's not too happy about the snow...

January 24, 2002

"It's sooper dooper brand neew..."

Fran is talking. FRANNY...okay, he still talking..okay..hm. Downloaded "Coming Around". Ah, now he's singing. Eehee....ee..I'm too easily amused. Wait, I think I've heard this song before. Or it sounds a lot like another song I've heard...

Can't I go without updating this stupid site more than once a day? Hm.

Dammit, my scanner won't work. A fourth of the time, when I try to use it, it just crashes. Why? Because I destroy everything. When I walk around nature, various life forms just keel over. Sad, isnt it. They just lose the will to live because I'm present...

Heehee. Nuts are good. To eat. I ate. Some. Why do I type like that sometimes? Well, raisins seem to go with all nuts. I have to remember when to stop eating them though. I've decided I'll eat my "dinner" closer to lunch time, and then at...dinnertime I'd just eat...nuts and fruit and crap. Like...squirrels? My mum bought cookies too. cookies...ruler of the earth...if the earth was only inhabited by cookies, that is...

I was thinking of something else that really has nothing to do with ANYTHING. Well, here I go. Humans don't eat carnivorous...organisms. Because I was thinking, what is the different between eating a dog and eating a cow (besides that not as many people eat..um, dogs), and the main thing I could think of was that cows eat grass...and dogs don't. Alright, that might sound stupid. I'm guessing that carnivores don't taste as good. The thing is, cows are being fed meat...I mean, lots of animals that supposedly should just eat grass don't at all. They're like cannibals, being fed dead cows and it's everything, bones and such too. No wonder most people are so screwed up and sickly. Not that I'm saying I'm an exception (MY INTESTINES EXPLODED), but things like this...make me thing some people are just really...really...stupid. I find it very odd that many humans don't even treat others people like humans...

This looks somewhat interesting...not that I would ever buy one. I owe my mum $21 at the moment.

Why are you reading this?
I took a nap for the first time in a bit. For three hours...eek, kind of longer that I expected. Oh well. 4:30 to 7:30. I think my mum must have went to the movies cos...she's not home, haha. Ha.

...uh. The snow. Is very much melting away. It's sad as hell, I think. Small remnant remain, it's a horrible MONSTROSITY!...okay, perhaps not. At least it was cloudy/rainy/foggy today, that actually makes me a bit happy. Not that I enjoyed walking in the rain much, but eh. And that made the snow melt faster. Why is it in the 40-50 degree range anyway? It's still January right? Hm.

I don't remember doing much today. Okay, I'm not really thinking. Think...think...nothing worth reading about, I'd say. I slept during lunch again. It's weird though because I'm not really sleeping, but not really awake either. I'm in the middle somewhere, probably doing bad things to my brain. Well then. During English we had to write poems and I hated mine, so I didn't get anyone to make comments on it. Instead I wrote to myself. Forgot what I wrote. "Join a cult!" I think. I think I actually need to get someone to critique it though, but poems are so...I dislike poems. Well, maybe other people's are okay, but generally I don't liek to write em, they always sound fake and stupid and well, that's all I'll say for now. I hope I don't actually need someone to critique it or anything.

Yeah. And. I want walnuts. My mum bought some. She just got home. Bought food. Food isn't even that happy anymore....since my intestines, big and small, exploded (figuratively...if that even makes sense) and I KNOW I can't fast, because I guess I'm just no good at that. But she did buy some cookies. Sigh. Love cookies. Would like to suck the crap (literally) out of my system...although I guess it's more important to decrease the FAT content. Not sure how to do that. Haven't crossed the line into the world of EXERCISE yet. Probably won't. I'm really a quite not good person, I've realized, in many aspects, although sometimes I just have dumb arguements with my mum. Today we argued about water and food...somehow. The thing is I know what I'm saying is stupid, I know my mum knows what i'm saying is stupid, but my mum might not know that I know what i'm saying is stupid. Did you get all that? Hm. Just that when I come home from school I'm either in...a good mood..or...uh...the other one...actually, I have no idea. Maybe just not talking very much throughout the day builds up after a while...

January 23, 2002

This is definitely weird.

Holy crap...what the HELL did I eat? In the past day..or...two...I've BALLOOOONED...maybe it was all that pulse. Oh..CRAP, I'm supposed to drink a gallon of water a day? ...well, I only ate one pack today. Uhoh. HOLY CRAP...I did something like this once before where I took some fiber pills kind of not realizing they were fiber, I didn't drink anything, and lets just say...that's a bad idea.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DRINK A GALLON OF WATER A DAY?! I'm just trying to drink a liter a day for now. Ugggh...my stomach...my intestines..ooooohhaiusdiuahehdas god. I was actually thinking of starting this on Sunday, but I never really go through with those things. My house would have to be completely devoid of anything that's not pulse, fresh fruits or veggies for me to do it...

By the way, the Pulse stuff might look weird but it's actually pretty good, which is why I ate it I guess. That's my LUNCH. I wonder if I look weird at lunch, sitting in the corner of a table all alone while spooning Pulse out of a bag into my mouth while listening to music and doing homework at the same time, and then later on sleeping. It MIGHT look odd, I sure as hell have never seen anyone do that...

blorp. i am full of guilt. heehee!

OO you know whats goood? Walnuts and raisins! I mean, eating them together. They're fine eaten separately...but together...I realized its YUMMMMYY.

This amused me. Well, just that "Morning hair" picture. Jesus, this guy has a stuffed animal PIKACHU...like my BROTHER...I mean, he's got Pokemon stuff, period, which reminds me of my brother. *shudders*...

OH my, you HAVE to go here, scroll down to the Sign part. Funny as hell. That is insanely funny, putting messages in there and seeing it...HAHAHA OH this made my day!
WATCH THIS!!! It took a while for me to download...but god..its just..uh. Well, it didn't make me laugh like crazy, but it's just so odd, you have to appreciate it. Especially the fruit! :)
Today was...regular. Except I felt exceptionally ...fat...or...PREGNANT...hm. Well, not that. But it was very odd, it wasn't like I felt full, I was still hungry, but felt like my intestines were STUFFED with semi-digested material. Does that make sense? MY POOR INTESTINES...wah. I feel the pain...for them. Uh. Somewhat.

I got a B on my physics quiz! HOW I don't know. Actually, most of the whole class got a B except for one person who got both questions right...trust me, I was shocked when I got the right answer. FREAKIN SHOCKED...freaaak.

I got a C or a D on my math final though. I got a C on the first part. I guess I really DID bomb that second part. Gussing doesn't pay off...sniff. Technically though, with a multiple choice test you can the chance of getting them all right by guessing. I mean, the chances are one to ten million billion, but hey...it still exists.

Actually...not much else happened today. Oh wait. NO MORE GYM. Instead...health! First aid. Yay. It's very strange to have to start being awake first period now. I'm not used to that at all...sigh. But I still think it's better than having gym, yeah?

I was almost certain that something else happened in my day...oh yeah. Well, this isn't really what I was thinking, but after school I took a bleepin fun math contest (ha...ha..heh..ugh) and I swear, I'll never be satisfied with those unless I get a 100% and I've NEVER in my entire life gotten all the questions right...I think. I mean, sometimes it's just something I wouldn't have known, but today I forgot was a trinomial was and made this easy factoring problem really hard for myself. So i felt so stuuuppiiid! They always make me feel like crap, those math contests, not sure why I do em. I suppose its the only school activity I do. Sigh. SAD SAD SAD PATHETIC i say

I think the search engine queries are getting weirder. Putting them here is probably just gonna bring more wackos to this site...but anyway, here's a sampling of recent stuff:

- musclar sex (I'm drawing a blank here...)
- retarded diaper (...ditto...)
- bloopy pictures of the women wearing short (that seems to make even less sense...)
- ragu commercial song (there's a ragu song?)
- japanese e guh orgasm (..guh?)
- WHYY ICE CREAM (as opposed to WHY ICE CREAM I guess)

January 22, 2002

I translated this page into English using this and just thought it was really funny that Quiet & Still ended up being...

...nevermind. Juno just crashed. Can't get back to the site. Oh well, it was a sucky translation anyway..rrr...rer...r..r.r.r.r.....

I realized that there isn't really anything to look forward to each day. I mean. Maybe a few times a year, something fun will happen to look forward to, but in general, there's absolutely nothing! isn't that a bit sad? Why even wake up! I don't know. I just do. I've probably thought about this before...but I don't remember. So it's kind of sad. Why even wake up...
I'm listening to..TRAVIS! Whoa. Haven't done that in a long time. They're so nice though...although the realization has come upon me that they have a song named "Luv". I always thought of it as "Love" in my head, I guess. LUV...jesus crap! Hee..ee...ee. luv? It's a funny word, isnt it...

So. Today was worse than yesterday. I mean, I was more tired, that's all, I guess. Physics...booring..but didn't feel like puking. Woo. Um. Um. Math midterm...not...good. Yeah. I mainly guessed I think. Oops. Well, I got a C on the first part...*woo*...YAAA GOD I LOVE PRE CALCULUS ITS THE MOST FREAKIN WONDERFUL-

oh. anyway. I got an A in russian! Yeah, I'm really surprised, because I hardly ever participate. I raised my hand more but didn't get called on...more. I think the teacher knew that though. :P I'm too slow...my brain does not make my arm muscles move. or something. Quite annoying and all, makes me feel dumb as hell.."should...raise...arm...now!" oh well.

human interaction today? minimum.

I noticed that I am quite odd looking for a human being. Ever think about that stuff? NO? Yeah. Well.

Diana took some neat pics of Starsailor...or at least the main dude, haha! ha. ha.

Hey, when people don't say hello to you anymore, does that mean they hate ye, or they're just BLIND as hell? I'm going for the first one..yay! Good to have a nice collection of people that dislike you, isnt it...hm.

O, i remembered something else, the latest issue of Seventeen magazine (the ALL AMERICAN magazine or something? um) popped up in the mail. I read it. i suppose i do...it's almost wrong, but i find it quiiite amusing, seeing that I don't really fit the demographic that they're targetting. All I remember...well, partly what I remember, is that there was an ad for channelone buried deep within it's pages...isnt that the evil channel for middle/high schoolers? Well, you know what I mean...actually, you probably dont. Well, at least they dont show that in my school. Wooee. I think that the channel shows, in addition to the..regular programming, a bunch of ads and in the schools its shown in, the tvs cant be turned off during the ads. i mean. i understand that you need ads, but it doesnt seem worth it to even have a channel that doesnt have much programming anyway and then showing a bunch of ads...*hates ads, if you are wondering*

Oh wait, now i'm looking at the website...in case I don't know how to play guitar...oh well, I guess I've screwed up by starting on a classical guitar, HAHAHHEHHAEHIUAHSIUdhyuahsdy8uahsd ohh god skootch *close*

advertisements are scary. i always wonder who goes for them, you know? you could argue that i must be influenced by ads too...but as of late, I don't feel like i have. is that even possible?

January 21, 2002

Just out of curiousity, what kind of substance does one have to be on to make this? LOBSTERRRRRRRRRR! Why would a lobster eat a rabbit?

...I guess I don't feel compelled to watch that twice.
I know I have homework...but I haven't started it yet. Instead, I did this...HARP STUFFF...ya. Me little harp. 3 octaves. I'm sure there's some kind of technique to playing it, but I don't know it. Well, I can fake it I guess. Some guitar in there too I guess. Yeah, my out-of-tune guitar...hm. Well, it sounds better than the dulcimer...yikes. :)

Starting to get a bit tired. Raaar. Dinner was fun as hell. I sat in a confused state as everyone else talked about stuff. I dunno what. Nothing good most likely, but at least there wasn't any arguing/knife throwing..HA! Ha....ha? We aren't at each others throats.


You are ... Edna Krabapple

Edna Krabapple

You are Bart's teacher, who's sole purpose in life is to make your life a living hell. You're a lonely, desperate woman looking for love from anyone, and everyone. Currently, Principle Skinner is your main interest.


Take the Simpsons Quiz @ Space Monkey Mafia dot com

Boy, that's exciting. That just made my day. Woo.
Happy Martin Luther King Jr...day...yes...is that it? Mmhm.

Well, I had a fun day at school. HAHA...no. It wasn't that bad though! During first period the principal made the yearly speech about MLK Jr, not that I could hear it becuase just like pretty much all accouncements in the gym...ye can't really hear it. Oh well. And we had fun scoliosis checks...YAAAA so friggin exciting HOLY CRAP...uh. Anyway. I don't have scoliosis. JUST like every other year, but anyway, in case you were wondering...Robyn is 100% scoliosis free!

Physics was OK! Wow. I didn't feel like I was going to sleep at all. I didn't get much sleep last night, but I guess the less sleep...at some point, I just feel more awake, yeah. I DIDN'T FAIL MY QUARTERLY!...I got a C. Which is gooood! Eee! Much better than I thought I'd do. Then again I think it was curved by 5 points. But I did better than nearly 50% of the class, so I'm right in the middle. Woo, that's fine with me.

Speaking of the night...sleep. Good. Night. Yay! Uh. Yeah, the sky was lookin neat, with...clouds. I love clouds. When it's night at the sky isn't pitch black but kind of...glowing! That is neat. Mm...hm.

It snowed a bit during school. Didn't look like much at first but then more snow started falling out fhe sky (funny how it does that). And it just made me very happy to see...SNOW. It was only a thin layer that coated everything but it looked cool for a while. When I was walking to lunch from history outside, this guy started running through the snow and shouting "I LOVE SNOW I LOVE SNOW!" and I thought it was...amusing. Random. But not uncalled for...not that I would ever do that. :)

Math midterm...um...yeah, I screwed up on that, but hey, multiple guess is always good. I doubt any of that 1/4th chance of getting something right went into my favor, but hopefully I got...most right. Eh.

Still watching "The Great Gatsby" in English, and the people in the movie are...FREAKS! Or. NOT normal. Holy crap, something is just wrong with it, alright? It's not a terrible movie, it's just odd.

And that's all I can think of, since I'm quite hungry. I've got an eel + rice frozen dinner in the..freezer. Which I would like to eat. Uh. Huuuh...later.

OH and of course, more fun search engine queries that somehow point to here:

- pictures of healthy foood (foood? whyyy...)
- +"fun with pies" (I just don't get that one)
- girls-and-boys-having-sex (as opposed to other things having sex I guess, but...um)

okay, thats all for now. exciting, isn't it. i'm sure these people were pretty disappointed when they found out this page SUCKED.

January 20, 2002

raAArr...how the hell could it be sunday already? What happened? WHAT HAPPENED ARRGH *rips head off, head bounces on the floor, puts head back on*

...even stranger search engine queries leading to my webhole:

- nifty gay dudes
- mum poo wee bum crying

The second one is a bit more cryptic. But I won't ask...

So...I'm annoyed with stuff, but doesn't make much sense to talk about it here since I guess I'd be talkin to myself, like right now...hello...me...hows it...goin.

Crap, I've got some math midterm thing going on tomorrow on trig. uhohh. ugh. I guess this is when I should study. dammit. deeemiiit.



...I'd rather have a giant inflatable dinosaur.

I ate too much dinner. nothing new. It's cold. my dad turned the heater off. he keeps telling me to do that, but i found that when the heater is turned off, the basement gets all cold which I guess is supposed to happen. So perhaps carelessly I leave it on most of the time. My dad says I can just come down and turn it on before I do..stuff...but it's not like my brain is gonna tell me to do that 30 minutes before i want to go on the internet or something. DO YOU KNOW what I mean? no.

eating dinner is a pain when the whole family is gathered 'round, eehhh? my grandfather speaks so freakin loud. Well, I guess he can't hear very well, but....but. I don't like sitting at a table where I can't understand what the hell anyone is talkin about. Really. This doesn't mean I want to know what everyone is saying, but I just wish...um. I don't know. Nevermind. It's my fault for being born chinese and living in the us where i've been brought up to learn english and NOT chinese, and in a mid class society where I'm supposed to get above 1300 on my sats but really, I'm not gonna

ye know..u....okay, bye.
MY mum is always telling me to...do stuff. Like what, I don't know. I sit here too much, I know, but there isn't anything else i feel like doing right now except eating, and thta's a problem too...eating. If I wasn't on the computer then I'd be eating, or sleeping, or reading! What's so great about those things...argh nevermind, I don't know what I'm talkin about...

What the hell is "santa reindeer poot music"? Someone typed that into google, apparently...poot music?

So. I...mm...hm. Snow. Out there. Some inches I guess.

I'm cold. Yeah...that'll happen when yer in the basement I guess. Always in the basement.

Listening to Clinic. I have a feeling I'll get sick of this sometime, but for now I'm quite lovin it. What the hell is this dude saying? Oh well. "Goodnite Georgie" is nice and..um...

...my mum wants me to eat now. raaar. yes, id like some little dumps.

January 19, 2002


beck : about

How is that? I figured 100 quotes was a bit out of reach so I settled for 53. Eh. Well.

And that's all. I wonder if it's still snowing...I don't think so. It snowed a few inches. It's pretty, but not...mind blowing. I need some mind blowing snow. now...

There's a little blurb about Even in NME...I went and got that...at the bookstore. Yeah, I went out! Huh. Well, I didn't want to spend any money, but I did. I spent $15...sigh. Barnes & Noble had a bunch of copies of "Green Plastic Wateringcan" for 5 bucks! So I bought that, even though I...have it already. I bought a used version of it for something like $4 before. RADIOHEAD! Pre-OK Computer! Hm. It's a nice book, not really as a biography, but as a photo album. With funny pictures.

Also got NME...yeah, I said that. Cover? Jay-Z: Lord of the Bling! God, who writes this stuff? Nothing in here I'm particularly interested in, but I'll read it anyway. Well, a picture of Robbie Williams giving the finger...hm! A pic of Chris Martin lookin thoughtful. Some bald dude. Anyhoo. There's one page about Norway being the new France; Europes heart of cool. The headline? "May the Fjords Be With You! Oh god...this is getting terrible. But I laugh anyway.

"It all started with a tattoo," explains singer-songwriter Even Johansen. "I was suffering from anaemia and I went to see this rock'n'roll doctor who prescribed a tattoo of a magnet to cure me. I was stupid enough to believe it. But believing works wonders." Already featured in teen sci-fi programme Roswell High -- oddly fitting for this ethereal blend of Tim Buckly and Air -- Even bucks the Nordic gloom stereotypes with a song called 'Dead And Unhappy'.

...mmhm. Which song is "Dead And Unhappy"? I MUST KNOW! Someone tell me. Please? Wait, this should go on my Even site...because...YOU DON'T CARE! HEEHEE

Okay, I've assumed that. sigh.

I find this site amusing. Especially the stupidity page. I don't see the point of harassing someong because they like o-town. People will always like different things...and well, what's the point of wasting your time to try and make people realize...things. Sometimes you can't change people. Most of the time, I'd say. People will change themselves if they want to, but that's all. Both of these people are pretty close minded it seems. Well, maybe that's not the right term. "Stupid" isn't the right term..."funny" isn't the right term...maybe just plain sad. This is making me sad.

...enough of that. Time to listen to...some Beachwood Sparks. oo.
cookies are so delicious.

i was in cookie heaven for a second.

..now i'm back. the cookie is dead. sigh. mmwell.

still snowing, but not much accumulation. extremely disappointed, I am. damn you, mother nature..SOB.
I woke up before 2 PM. Aren't you proud of me? ...yeah. I didn't go to bed very late, which was good I guess.

Listened to more GYBE. I think I like the second CD than the first one...it's all good stuff, but...yeah. I'll just babble on a bit more. Not sure what the music...does. I mean, it's not really happy, or sad, or depressing, but it's something, I just don't know what. Makes me feel like moving or something, in some kind of way, but then I'm always listening to it in bed. It's just...EEEE! *that was some kind of noise, I think*...well if you are curious you can download tons of live stuff here. I'm downloading "Monheim" cos it's very...extremely...WOOOEEEAAAHHAGYUusd *dies*

That could make sense, whatever it is I just said. Hm.

It's cloudy today. Supposed to snow I think. A few inches. Of course, if it's going to snow, it has to be on a WEEKEND, god forbid any chance of a snow day. Do most people have Monday off? I've never had it off, and I don't know, but my brother does...

Let me question the inteligence/mentallity of the human race again, alright? Who typed "where can i find Britney Spears having sex wiht Pikachu" in google and found my site? Well, my site is the only one that comes out but obviously it's just words taken from all over the page stuck together:

... this is a Britney Spears song!". ... well, I guess having the day off ... of the opposite sex? no 155.) Do ... a giant pikachu 169.) What's ... the airport wiht my mum ...

Man, we both spelled "with" wrong. How sad. I am worthless. And who searched for "'even johansen' quiet roboppy"? That's a tad too specific...I'm roboppy...ee...get the bugs off of me...*whaps arms repetedly*...

that was completely random, sorry. There are no bugs here. I hope...now I'm paranoid.
THIS makes me SO HAPPY! It's almost PAINFUL:

Honestly...I mean. Well. Maybe I'm happier than I think I am. I mean, most of the day, I'm completely not happy. Not depressed either, just absolutely nothing. It's the weirdest feeling, nothing. I get that feeling a lot. But anyway! Here are parts of the review with wonderful comments from me (as though my opinion counts, ha!)...which is of the show I WENT TO which makes it much better, yeah?

One day Even Johansen is going to conquer America with a band in tow. But on an unusually warm late fall night on New York's Lower East Side, this Norwegian singer-songwriter had to go it alone. At Brownies, a tiny club on Avenue B that's often host to artists on the way up the alternative rock ladder, he bravely accompanied himself with a vintage white lap-steel guitar while a button-pushing soundman armed with samples, loops and a bottle of Budweiser shot shards of noise around the room.

Well the band in tow would be...Libido! I mean..kind of. Libido! And it WAS unusually warm. I had short sleeves! And. It was raining before, quite heavily before...I swear, everything went perfect that night, pretty much. sigh...

Johansen, reminiscent of U.K. alt-pop superstars Thom Yorke, Coldplay and Travis, is learning the ropes on his first solo tour hastily booked to whip up attention for his stunning debut disc Quiet & Still (Five One). In concert the spry composer's demeanor is the antithesis of the title of his record; he appears nothing like the close-up shot on the cover.

true...(i don't get much more profound than that)...

With a few onlookers straggling in shortly after 9 p.m. for the opening set, Johansen bounced on stage and bellowed "is everyone ready to dance? Good evening New York!" No response. He quickly sat down and inquired in a carnival barker's voice if there were any Thin Lizzy fans in attendance. No response again. The collegiate audience was dumbfounded at Johansen's self-effacing humor, which speaks volumes of the kind of education afforded at the near-by New York University.

ARGH! I shoudl have gone at nine! I was probably...still walking around! Or being a dumbass. I was probably still in midtown or something! *rips head apart*...god. What the hell is wrong with me. Sigh. I would have wanted to go "YEAAAAH!" but even if I was there, I wouldn't have said anything. I would have sat dumbfounded.

Sussing out the situation with a measure of intelligence and wit, Johansen effortlessly launched into a haunting rendition of Phil Lynott's "Dancing in the Moonlight" with the wacko bravado of Syd Barrett on steroids. As the crowd thickened with curiosity they slowly edged toward the stage, much to the delight of Johansen who goaded them with "Where Happiness Lives," a neat little suicidal ditty that recalls: "it was last October on a Tuesday night / when she said fuck you it's over if you're getting high tonight / so he went straight down the white line and let a good thing down."

My head nearly exploded when I heard him playing Dancing in the moonlight. YES. There could have been bits of Robyn guts all over the lower east side. it would have been disgusting. I swear...if I try to remember that exact moment he started playing, I think I must have made some kind of odd sound like "spooknookuehhere HES PLAYING" and then proceeded to tug away at Jen's shirt and.....um

...sorry. I don't know what I'm talking about. Apparently, I'm insane, hm.

While referring to himself as "Even" and the mysterious technician as "Johnson," the artist showed off his multiple personalities by picking country and western licks, blues riffs and folksy arpeggios juxtaposed to a mechanical backbeat that often resolved into cacophony.

The mysterious technician..WHO I DIDNT EVEN SEE! I feel bad. imac guy! Jen remembers him. she said she was standing by him..! Yeah, that nice, I didn't notice anything, apparently. Sigh.

Johansen's self-produced disc - on which he played all instruments - consists of lush, sleepy arrangements. Without a hope of transposing that sanctified studio atmosphere live, he wisely opted to toss the recorded versions aside and go for broke. Though the club's shaky sound system popped and crackled at inopportune moments Johansen's performance was strong and spirited. The smiley face delivered maudlin lyrics such as "the bastard has come to claim his throne as king of picking on the wrong / the blade in his hand might scare you to death if the stink doesn't kill you first" charmed the room after his brief half-hour set.

popped anc crackled...well it was just really..loud! and my recording came out like poo! but thats okay, at the time, it sounded so great, couldn't have imagined anything better. "The smiley face"...hm. :) :) :) :) SMILES FOR EVERYONE DAMMIIT yes.

Without a roadie in sight, the twentysomething Nordsman packed his gear and headed for the bar, proving beyond a reasonable doubt that the ravishing melancholy world of Even Johansen ends with the last note of the gig and the first happy-hour libation.

Headed for the BAR? I didn't see that. Was I in la la land? I went by there to buy his CD for rebecca. and. yeah. not like i went there to drink alcohol. twenty something? I think he's in his thirties! Oh well. Ah...yeah...

.....sigh. It probably isn't healthy to reminicse about stuff that much. I mean...well, in a way. As long as I don't live in past, I'm alright. Think about future concert experiences!...but wouldn't everything pale in comparison to that night?

I should go to bed now. Yeah.

January 18, 2002

I dunno if anyone is actually interested in hearing what a dulcimer sounds like, but I recorded something and i'm warning you, it kind of sucks, but ye know what, it didn't take that long so...mm, yeah. And I made all the loops! then again, stuff that takes me all day usually ends up suckin anyhoo, heehee...hee...heh...ugh.

Take the Which Radiohead Album are you? Quiz.

Oh, man. No one is quite sure what to make of you. Your fans got kind of impatient in the three years it took the band to perfect you, and after you were released, a lot of people walked around scratching their heads, saying "Huh???" Lots of people don't really understand you, and even more pretend that they do. Bill Gates got it, after like, the seventeen hundredth time. Most of the people around you think that they understand you better than they do, and that gets on your nerves sometimes. But The small group of people who appreciate your beauty and intelligence keeps you going. You are a bit emotionally detached, but make up for it with your utter gorgeousness and dedication to your art.

That sounds better than being Pablo Honey. Which I was before, but anyway. I changed my fate. heehee.

My mum got me cookies! I MUST EAT THEM!

My dad and my grandpa are here now. Uh. Yay. I think they're the two people I would least want to have in this house. They're both irritating...in different ways. Could be worse though, at least I don't know Chinese. My grandpa doesnt know much english so he can't really talk to me, which is..uh, fine with me. Aren't I delightful? Heehee.
Clinic is playing in NJ and NY in April!...not that I love them or anything, but now I know. I'll keep it in the back of my mind...:)

Speaking of concerts, got my Rufus tickets today! That was fast...I'm glad ticketmaster didn't screw up. WOO. The happiness is overpowering.

I think my Beck quote count is up to...close to 50. Which isn't a whole lot. I'm aiming for 100 at the very least. I've already looked through pretty much all my magazines...eee well.

It's dinner time! YAA I'm gonna get something to eats!
Today felt like an extremely odd day of school. Maybe just because it was the last day of the marking period. Hm. GOOD NEWS though, no more gym class until the fourth quarter. Now I've got..health! Um. Yay. Well it's not so bad, seems like we'll be learning useful stuff about first aid.

Special Ed was weird. I didn't...do anything. I mean. Well, the person I help out, he's usually pretty cooperative but sometimes his mind wanders or he might just act weird, or lose his temper. Today we was taking a quiz that someone made for him with dividing and stuff. I wasn't supposed to help him, so just sat there looking at my physics notes. He was getting really frustrated and said loudly "There isn't enough room to do this!" at which point the teacher put a zero on his paper and took the quiz away along with his books. And so for the rest of the period, he jsut sat there...and I kept lookin at my notes. Well, what was I supposed to do? I wasn't expecting the teacher to do that. But then...I dunno. I felt bad at first, but I didn't do anything wrong. I think.

That reminded me...to call Emily. She wanted me to..call her. Mmhm. She seems to think that I'm really nice and smart. What have I DONE? I have evil powers.

Listening to "Distortions" by Clinic. Why do I like this song? Guh. I remember reading how Clinic was Radiohead for Radiohead. And strangly enough, I can see that...weird. And Muse was Radiohead but not as good, haha! They're not really that much like Radiohead, are they? The first time I listened to em they did sound really Radioheadish but after listening to them for...a while, quite different. And then the other Radiohead bands; Travis, Coldplay, the Doves...who I've all listened to I guess.

Anyway, got off on a tangent there. Oh yes, the PHSYICS quarterly...I pretty much bombed that. The thing is, i knew it wasn't that hard, but I blanked out. I think maybe, I got half of it right, which I find amazing in itself. I'm lucky if i got at least a D! I mean the teacher went over the answers after we finished the test. God I'm a dumbass...*sob..ish*

After that was history. We're watching a movie called "Mississippi Burning" and it's pretty good. I like it at least, except that it's pretty disturbing.

Lunch time...what did I do. I did some physics homework. And then I did the ritualistic Even Johansen listening/sleeping bit. Still love that stuff. I'm glad. I mean, am I going to listen to "The Recluse" one day and find it completely boring? I can't really imagine it at the moment. I just noticed how nice the string parts in "Bullet To Your Heart" are...yeah! How many instruments does Even play? God. Everything sounds more complicated the more I listen to it.

Next was math. We just worked on review problems for the midterm on monday and tuesday. Crap, I forget everything from the first quarter. I gave up at some point and during the last 5 minutes of class I just went to sleep. Ish.

During Russian we watched the videotape the teacher recorded of us doing our dialogues. Yikes. And from that I have concluded that I have a terrible speakin voice. And I've got too much hair...and I'm...really short. Jesus christ. Never want to watch THAT again. My teacher gave me a 92 though, which was nice considering I thought it sucked. But really, my voice isn't really...I dunno...nevermind, it's weird. Must be torture for people who talk to me and hear me...talking...stuff.

ANYWAY. Whats next...English! We started watching a movie of "The Great Gatsby" from the 1970s. It is incredibly strange. Just the whole way it's shot...and everyone is strange. And Gatby's house is gigantic. I don't understand why there would be this little house (that Nick lives in, I mean) right next to Gatby's GIGANTICLY ENOURMOUS house. Oh well, I didn't write the book.

The day felt odd. Didn't really learn anything. Except I really suck in physics. Oh yeah, we had a firedrill during physics. I guess most of the class discussed their answers during that short period of time, but I didn't. I just didn't see the point, I didn't know what i was doing anyway. And I would have felt bad. Yes, damn me for having...morals. Sigh. If those exist at all.

Overall, today wasn't...a good day or a bad day. Okay, definitely more of a bad day. Even though I didn't have much work, it still wasn't much of a godo day because I had too much time to contemplate everything. Everything? I mean. I find it amazing that I can be surrounded by more than 1000 students and have very minimal human interaction, along with not being interested in talking with any of these people, and overall feeling much more alone in a corridor full of chatting teenagers than I do sitting here at my computer completely alone in my house (with Poor Rich Ones blasting on the speakers right now). Anyone have any idea what I'm getting at? ...yeah, just nod, why don't ye. Then again, what is normal.

January 17, 2002

I ate so much. Food, that is. Just to get the facts straight.


It's 9 PM and I'm still too scared to look at my physics notes. It's...its pure evil.

Kind of makes you feel all warm n fuzzy inside, doesnt it?

...not sure what to say about this though.

I would like woohoogirl to know that ice cubes are the best. And I'd rather be an ice cube than a shot of jagermeister. Dammit, I wish I could be an ice cube...

I downloaded some clinic songs under the influence of stefoo (sorry for butchering her name, heehee) and they're quite good...yesss! This is fun. I like! YAY!

So now for my recommendation. Beachwood Sparks! So fun. I think. I downloaded some songs just cos I remembered reading something about them in Spin (I guess they have something nice every now and then) and the music is like..uh...happy country ish and it's really nice to listen to, I think. I'm listening to "Desert Skies" right now. Man, this sounds so...happy! n stuff! Aw! I dunno! Wow. :)

Drink me!

Which drink are you?


According to the Which Sanrio Character Are You? quiz, I am:

crap again.

I know badzt maru is a penguin, but he's my least favorite sanrio character (not that i have a favorite..but anyway) but ANYWAY YAY GO ME and my god, did I just take the quiz wrong, because that's not me at all. Haha. As for the drink thing..um. I dunno.

A randon note, Godspeed You Black Emperor is wonderful stufffffffffff. How long have I had "Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven", I dunno, but lately I've been listening to it in bed (of course the very last thing i listen to each night is EVEN but anyway) and its like..whoa, this stuff is great! Um. Hm. Yeah, who's gonna listen to me..!
I went to the taping...and, geez, I felt SOOOO sorry for him! It broke my heart. Here was his big chance, curtain goes up, and, as Corrine mentioned a few messages back, everything just fell apart. It was clear from the beginning that he had a cold - his voice was just not up to the usual quality. Then he thought he had time to cough in between two lines of the song- but it just made him get behind and confused. That's when he looked at the palms of his hand and tried to figure out where he was lyrically - and that was the end. He just gave up.

Before the show, Leno was telling the audience how it is all "live on tape" - nothing is ever fixed, mistakes are left in, etc. So, when Rufus just stopped and said "I've got to start over"....then he looked really scared and
sort of asked "umm....CAN we do it again? I'm sorry, I'm sorry".

Just imagine being in that situation. He's got to do it - but all his confidence was gone. Poor guy. Everyone was running up to him (Leno included - he seemed so sweet to him - giving him a little pep talk) - giving
him water, stuff for his throat, Martha rubbed his shoulders.....

Then we were all REALLY scared. Can he do it? I think he just wanted to walk out and go home! So, considering everything....he survived pretty well. His face as they put the curtain back down to start over again for the second take was priceless....

And I always thought being a rock star was easy!

For a sick guy, he sure looked good though. What's new.

- Betsy

Oh..poor rufus! hes. sickly! i thought his voice may have been a bit off..but i didn't want to tell myself that I guess, haha! Oh. Well, he did nicely in the end anyhoo. It's a good thing they didn't show the first take I guess, that would have been sad to see I think...not that I would have cried. Hm. But anyway.

today was...normal. i almost woke up too late though. After I get up at around 6:50, I get changed and go to the bathroom, blah blah, and then I...go back to sleep. With the radio on, to make sure i don't oversleep. And then the radio turns of at 7:10. But I...uh, kept sleeping, and I actually had a dream. I woke up around 7:20 thinking "AH oops" and yeah. I wasn't late though. Oo. But god, I mean...dreams are weird.

Physics was boooring. I've got my quaterly tomorrow. Doesn't that spell fun? ...nope.

I got a B in math! Yay...NOT a C! that's all I can hope for. I think it was an 82. MM...hmm. Oh well! Er. Not like I'm going to BC calculus next year!

And. Uh. Mm. Okay, I guess nothing else happened. Oh wait, during lunch, I was doing part of an assignment for history the teacher handed out to us the period before, and this kid in my history class was walking by and told me one of the answers. It was really...uh..out of the blue. To me at least. I was listening to Even, and saw this dude and went "Huh?". I mean, I'm very much used to being ignored during lunch (it's a good thing..heehee). Oh well.

When I got home I ate...BURRITO! So much fun in a little bun....thing...okay, not a bun. You know what I mean. beans. ya gotta love...beans. And my mum isn't here. So I'm alone. Which is alright. She wanted to see Lord of the Rings again, so she'll be out for HOURS. Yikes. And I just remember something, I saw a pic of that dude who plays Legalus in the movie (Orlando Bloom?) in SPIN and he's totally...different lookin. Well, not really, just the hair I guess, but it was very odd for a split second...