January 18, 2002

Today felt like an extremely odd day of school. Maybe just because it was the last day of the marking period. Hm. GOOD NEWS though, no more gym class until the fourth quarter. Now I've got..health! Um. Yay. Well it's not so bad, seems like we'll be learning useful stuff about first aid.

Special Ed was weird. I didn't...do anything. I mean. Well, the person I help out, he's usually pretty cooperative but sometimes his mind wanders or he might just act weird, or lose his temper. Today we was taking a quiz that someone made for him with dividing and stuff. I wasn't supposed to help him, so just sat there looking at my physics notes. He was getting really frustrated and said loudly "There isn't enough room to do this!" at which point the teacher put a zero on his paper and took the quiz away along with his books. And so for the rest of the period, he jsut sat there...and I kept lookin at my notes. Well, what was I supposed to do? I wasn't expecting the teacher to do that. But then...I dunno. I felt bad at first, but I didn't do anything wrong. I think.

That reminded me...to call Emily. She wanted me to..call her. Mmhm. She seems to think that I'm really nice and smart. What have I DONE? I have evil powers.

Listening to "Distortions" by Clinic. Why do I like this song? Guh. I remember reading how Clinic was Radiohead for Radiohead. And strangly enough, I can see that...weird. And Muse was Radiohead but not as good, haha! They're not really that much like Radiohead, are they? The first time I listened to em they did sound really Radioheadish but after listening to them for...a while, quite different. And then the other Radiohead bands; Travis, Coldplay, the Doves...who I've all listened to I guess.

Anyway, got off on a tangent there. Oh yes, the PHSYICS quarterly...I pretty much bombed that. The thing is, i knew it wasn't that hard, but I blanked out. I think maybe, I got half of it right, which I find amazing in itself. I'm lucky if i got at least a D! I mean the teacher went over the answers after we finished the test. God I'm a dumbass...*sob..ish*

After that was history. We're watching a movie called "Mississippi Burning" and it's pretty good. I like it at least, except that it's pretty disturbing.

Lunch time...what did I do. I did some physics homework. And then I did the ritualistic Even Johansen listening/sleeping bit. Still love that stuff. I'm glad. I mean, am I going to listen to "The Recluse" one day and find it completely boring? I can't really imagine it at the moment. I just noticed how nice the string parts in "Bullet To Your Heart" are...yeah! How many instruments does Even play? God. Everything sounds more complicated the more I listen to it.

Next was math. We just worked on review problems for the midterm on monday and tuesday. Crap, I forget everything from the first quarter. I gave up at some point and during the last 5 minutes of class I just went to sleep. Ish.

During Russian we watched the videotape the teacher recorded of us doing our dialogues. Yikes. And from that I have concluded that I have a terrible speakin voice. And I've got too much hair...and I'm...really short. Jesus christ. Never want to watch THAT again. My teacher gave me a 92 though, which was nice considering I thought it sucked. But really, my voice isn't really...I dunno...nevermind, it's weird. Must be torture for people who talk to me and hear me...talking...stuff.

ANYWAY. Whats next...English! We started watching a movie of "The Great Gatsby" from the 1970s. It is incredibly strange. Just the whole way it's shot...and everyone is strange. And Gatby's house is gigantic. I don't understand why there would be this little house (that Nick lives in, I mean) right next to Gatby's GIGANTICLY ENOURMOUS house. Oh well, I didn't write the book.

The day felt odd. Didn't really learn anything. Except I really suck in physics. Oh yeah, we had a firedrill during physics. I guess most of the class discussed their answers during that short period of time, but I didn't. I just didn't see the point, I didn't know what i was doing anyway. And I would have felt bad. Yes, damn me for having...morals. Sigh. If those exist at all.

Overall, today wasn't...a good day or a bad day. Okay, definitely more of a bad day. Even though I didn't have much work, it still wasn't much of a godo day because I had too much time to contemplate everything. Everything? I mean. I find it amazing that I can be surrounded by more than 1000 students and have very minimal human interaction, along with not being interested in talking with any of these people, and overall feeling much more alone in a corridor full of chatting teenagers than I do sitting here at my computer completely alone in my house (with Poor Rich Ones blasting on the speakers right now). Anyone have any idea what I'm getting at? ...yeah, just nod, why don't ye. Then again, what is normal.


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