September 30, 2001

God crappit, I joined this Hayao Miyazaki mailing list and I'm getting too much e-mail...I'm trying to switch it to digest mode, but the site ( doesn't seem to be working, which is reallllly convenient...

...I did 5 physics problems. Only 22 more to go. Kill me now, please? It took me hours to figure out this one problem only after my mum read the chapter in my text and in my brother's physics textbook. I don't understand symbolism in "Death of a Salesman" and for English I have to figure out the synmbolic meaning of various stuff that refers to building things. Not EVERYTHING is a symbol. Do English teachers realize that? Last year we did tons of crap about symbolism.

I took a 4 hour nap. That was nice. Oh and I did get the security tag off my pants. Actually my mum did. She found a little saw type thing, and did what that webpage said to do. It worked, yeah? And now she has to shorten the legs a bit. Foo.

Why is my net connection so slow? I can't even send a stupid e-mail.

My mum and I made yummy beef curry for dinner. Mmmmm...fooood. I would like some food now. But it's pretty late to eat now. Sigh. I wanted to make a grilled cheese sandwich, but all that pizza I ate before makde my nose stuffed up. Not fun. So I'll lay off the cheese.

I'm listening to "107 Steps" (Bjork) right now. Preeetty song. But not a good part in the movie (Dancer in the Dark). Nuh uh. She was dancing around the prison and stuff, argh...:(
Ooee, Audio Dregs is insound's label of the week. When I clicked to that page, I thought I did just a coincidence, woopeecreamcheese! There are tons of things I want to get at insound; Hydro Electric by Phonem, Monochrome Plural by Fizzarum, and something by Gimmik. I try to avoid getting anything vinyl if possible since I would kind of need to get a new record player...ugh...but I'll buy something if I think I'll really like it (which could explain those 7 Beck records, coming in all different sizes and colors, oo) . But it's about time, I think the one my family has now is 30 (or more?) years old. And no one really uses it. But whenever I used it I manage to break the needle, because...I'm stupid. :)

I'm not going through some strange techno phase if anyone is wondering (probably not), but somehow I found some stuff I like, which is pretty cool because who doesn't like finding stuff Uhhhh...anyway, I am now listening to Svefn-G-Englar. I've been listening to Sigur Ros for, what, 10 months, and I still can't remember how to spell/say/remember the song titles. Then again, I'm not trying. But still, you'd think by now this stuff would be ingrained in my head. THEN again, I still don't know most of the names of the roads around my house, and I've lived here for most of my life. That is more sad I think. At least I know the address of my house.

It's SUNDAY. That means...POOO...yeah, POO. I have a ton of homework to do. I've managed to finish my math, and that's all. Now I just have history, English, Physics, and Russian. Well, Russian is just studying, and for history I have to draw something. Physics, I don't even know what to do anyway, so maybe I should just screw that. And English...well...I dunno what to do for that either. So maybe I don't have as much work as I thought I did. In THAT case, maybe I'll just take a nap...wee!

Wow, I already got...5 votes for my poll. deliciousghost is winning once again, 3 to 2. Take the poll!

September 29, 2001

more fun than eating cake
What should my domain be called?





View Results

A nice new poll. I took the four top choices from the other poll. 8 people! I put this poll on my beck site too, so maybe more people will vote, eh?

Ooee, Mayor Giuliani is on SNL. Jooleeeaaaannnnneeeee. :)...okay, Paul Simon is now playing guitar and singing. I guess that was unexpected?

I bought some stuff. YAY! $33 buys me a CD, this 7", this other 7" (says it's out of print, but the order page says...its not), a magazine, and a t-shirt. Still, I will be $33 poorer. And the record player is still a little not working. Ummmm. Oh well. E*vax better be good!


I wrote that in my blog on Sept 7th 2000. Nehehehehee. Actually it was part of a little essay I wrote. But the rest of it is pretty dumb (you mean that was the good part?)

Man, the security tag was left on one of my pairs of pants! But I did a quick search on google and found this...jesus. So I can get it off I guess. But my mum doesn't wanna cut it. She's gonna cut a hole in my pants I think. She was going to shorten it anyway. But. Oh well...god crappit, I'm practically ripping my pants apart now...

Foogle. Today I spent...all day driving go Pennsylvania and back (well my MUM was driving). My mum wanted to go to a cross stitching festival thingy. She didn't buy anything...but it took about 3 hours to drive there, hehe. But not all is lost; we stopped in an outlet mall. There are lots of outlet...places in PA, it seems. But anyway, it was a very nice outlet mall....stuff for cheap! Well, cheapER. I heard some nice music too, in Banana Republic they played Weezer, in the Gap they played Gorillaz, and in J. Crew they played Belle and Sebastian. Oo, cool! Annnnddd I got two pairs o pants (J. Crew). So hard for me to find pants I like. Had to find pants that didn't flare, and pants that weren't tapered at the ends (if that's the right word)...just PANTsss. Nearly perfect pants, except it had a button-fly, which is definitely more annoying than a zipper. Will someone tell me what would make a button-fly better than a zipper one? :P

BUT ANYWAY! Lots of stores. Not like the clothes were defected, but they were considerably cheaper, sooo...yeah. :)

And now I'm HERE! You know, I quite like those rest areas on the highway. They all kind of look the same, which freaks me out, but anyway. Cos then you're like..."Wait, was I it looks like the other one!" That might just be me. Actually, I do NOT like rest areas when I'm on a band trip to Toronto, but hopefully, that was just a one time thing...:)

I didn't really do any homework. That's preeeettty bad. Tomorrow is going to suck. Hoorah. My butt.

This is nice!

September 28, 2001

I hate physics! I got three problems done, and then got very confused. That's bad cos I have about 20 problems to do.

I watched the season premiere of That's Life, a show on CBS, and they killed Victor!...(who's Victor?), anyway. Yeah I don't know anyone who watches that show, but i can't believe they killed him, that's terrible. Uh. Yeah.

I think I will try Dance Dance Revolution tonite. I plugged the Playstation into the TV. I hope it works. HMMM. I'll tell you about it tomorrow.

vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote...


I made my mum listen to Libido in the car, and she didn't object. She said they were more energized than...Radiohead or anything else I like? Hm. I DO LOVE Libido! Kind of. Love, too strong a word. Hmmhmhmhfoogle. Oh well. Where THOM? Greenplastic is down for now somewhat, the other day they had a picture of THOMOIDS! It was a picture of Thom designed like an Altoids ad...I dont see it there anymore, but it was quite strange. Thomoids sounds too much like hemerroids to me. Ew.
deliciousghost is winning! That's pretty cool. Why don't you VOTE right now? (Unless you already voted, in which case, DON'T vote) Lea suggested that name, by the way. It is quite cool. I like ghosts, they're cute. I saw a nice array of cute items decorated with ghosts today at Target. :)

Fooooo. Today I went to...THE MALL! Ate food. Yay. And I saw Zoolander with my mum. Strange movie, yes. It's cute and funny, but also preeetty dumb and weird. Hmm. So you decide whether or not you want to see it. Ben Stiller is straaange! I mean, in the movie. He was so funny in "Meet the Parents", I mean, that movie was almost painful to watch. But anyway, Zoolander is okay, and it has a somewhat happy ending. I mean, it's HAPPY, but would you want to go to a school called "The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good"? Hm...maybe I would! :)

There are about a million cameos in this movie, pretty strange. David Duchovny plays a hand model. He looks kind of fat and old in the movie...oooeee.

After the movie my mum and I went to Barnes & Noble and ate some cake and drank some coffee. STARBUUUUCKS! That's always a treat for us. evil! Oh well. I think it's sad that kids are becoming so dependent on coffee. I mean, not like everyone, but in my school I see kids in the morning carrying giant coffee cups, as though they wouldn't be able to function without it. That's greaaat.

I also bought two hair clips. I don't know HOW to use hair clips. It's one of those...butterfly clips I guess. They don't really look like butterflies. Is that what they're called? They have lots of teeth. It doesn't stay in my hair very well. I must be doing something wrong.

Hey, Rufus is on the Zoolander soundtrack! I didn't know that. Actually, I looked up info about it cos I heard a song during the movie that sounded like the Wallflowers, and I was Go me. I don't remember hearing a Rufus song, although it doesn't mean it was actually in the movie I guess. Why is Rufus on so many movie soundtracks? Hm. (Okay, when I say so many, I mean like...5, maybe. Well I know of at least

Can someone tape this for me? It's the John Lennon tribute thing. BECK WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE! But he backed out cos of the tragedy...hmmmm...I mean...well I don't think it was really necessary, but oh well. BUT RUFUS IS THERE NOW! So I still want to see it. I want to see Beck...but Rufus...good too! And it IS on the WB, a channel I actually get, but at the moment it's all static-ee and stuff. It might be like that for a while. I get NBC, CBS, and FOX okay, the other channels are fuzzy and crappy. :P The show is on TNT also...and of course I don't get that, so anyway, if anyone can help, that'd be nice.

Oh CRAP! I just remember, Bjork is on Rosie o donnell on october 2nd I think, and I have remembered for...ever! But ABC is crap! Sigh. SOMEONE HEEELP MEEE I don't wanna miss this stuff! :(

Sniff. I think I'm going to Pennsylvania tomorrow. My dad invited some relatives over, he does that every weekend so every weekend for me is ruined. My mum doesn't wanna stay home, so I guess i don't want to either. My dad is so annoying, I mean the weekend is generally the only time I have...out of school...kind of. I don't even want to stay in my own house anymore. And I don't know these relatives. Who cares. Is there anyone else in the world like this, who calls up people they're vaguely related to and invites them over? Whenever this happens there are lots of leftovers in the fridge and my dad keeps em for about a week, or more, and my mum and i certainly don't want to eat the food. Ugh.

later note: I just read that Bjork will probably NOT be on rosie...if that's so, forget what I said about recording it. :)

Also, just read that Post and Debut are officially platinum (1 million copies sold) and Homogenic is gold (half a million). I'm s urprised that Homogenic would have sold half as much as the other albums, because I...quite like it, yeah? It's very good! EXcellent! And also, Vespertine has sold abouta bagillion (or less) copies already. So are these new Bjork fans eating up Vespertine? That is pretty cool! It was the top selling album in the world in it's second week of release. should all get a copy, yes!

I WANNA GO TO NY! It'll never be cheaper than now to be a tourist in Manhattan! Right? I've never stayed in a hotel in NY. They're quite pricey. But it'll be cheaper now. Well it's too late to plan anything right now, and my dad would never allow my mum and I to go. But if you think about! :D

September 27, 2001

I want this! :D Isn't it cool? I think I like it because it', doesn't mean it doesn't sound cool. Actually, I don't know what it sounds like. But it's a tiny keyboard and it's a calculator, heehee. It's quite cheesy. I love cheese! Will someone buy me one? Actually, I guess I can afford it. There's another on on eBay for 25 bucks. Maybe I will buy one later. Oo...

Yes, I actually have some money! I have $50. I'm going to put it in my checking I'm less likely to spend it. But I plan on buying a I will...spend it. Hm. Yes, there is a bright future for my $50.

Heehee, I'm listening to a sound clip of the keyboard, it sounds so funny. HAHAHHAHAhasdhHAshduiQ wow you can really annoy people with this.

...okay, that song is already annoying the crap out of me. It's too happy sounding, ack!

I went out to eat dinner. That was nice. Turkey sandwich. I forgot what turkey tastes like. It's yummy., well then. Today has been very slow. I've been tired all day, pretty much. Actually, that's what I'm usually like, nevermind.
What the...ARRGRGGGGHHH! For god's sake, what the hellll is happening? Everything in my beck folder is gone! I had tons of stuff in there. I couldn't even guess how long it took me to upload all those mp3s and stuff...what happened? I didn't delete them! I'm so pissed...and I was already in a bad mood, cos I hate playing the stupid piano, I'm not going to play piano my whole life. And this stupid...thing...I don't want to upload all those things. Stupid internet is slow as poop. Hate...everything. Only one person voted. What the hell? Can't you spend one second to help me out in the slightest bit? I guess not, I'm not worth helping...well that explains a lot.

Today I have piano lessons. Yay. I hate the stupid theory crap. I can't play the songs right. I slouch over too much and my fingers aren't curved enough I think. So everything sounds like crap. I should stop taking piano lessons I think. But if I do, I won't really have anything else. I think I'm starting my Japanese lessons next week. Hm.

I registered for the PSAT. It would be sad if I did worse this year than I did last year. It's possible though, isn't it? I got a 1230 last year or something. I thought that was pretty good. By my standards at least. I think 1000 would have been good. Oh well. I haven't been preparing in any way. I just don't really care about the SATs. I haven't signed up for any SAT IIs. Those aren't absolutely necessary to get into every college, and since I don't care what college I go to, does it matter? Everyone is going to tell me "You should take an SAT II, blah blah blah"...and everyone knows kind of what they want to do in college, and kind of what college they want to go to, right? I've never known. I don't even know where I want to live, and to me thats the most important part. I don't know if that sounds stupid, but then who really cares. So why don't I have any idea what I want to do? Oh well.

My hands are freezing. That doesn't make playing the piano any more fun either.

My mum wants to go to the mall. I don't like malls. What would i do there? She wants to eat and see a movie. Maybe I'll feel like it. Hmph. I wanted to go to NY. I'd never object to that. My mum doesn't want to do anything that would make my dad mad or annoyed and if we go to NY he'll be mad because it costs so much to park, and with the toll and crap it ends up being a lot by his standards. Then theres the other stuff like shopping and eating. He'd wanna kill us. I don't think we should care what my dad thinks, because he's stupid anyway. What is he going to do if we go to NY, really. I want to see a concert. That won't be for a while. Foof. Foof. There are few things I enjoy in life I think.

September 26, 2001

Hey I think I FINALLY finished my Plone page. Almost...but I'm too lazy to make a few more real audio clips. I converted nearly all the songs though, not too shabby. Listen to the songs! Love Plone!

I found out something today...there's a Yahoo club for PLONE! First I was very excited...WOW! A club for Plone! But wait, the plot thickens. Who found the club? B***. Okay I could write the name, but I don't feel like it. A handful of you know who *he* is (now you know?) and if you know don't what I'm talking about, don't ask me, just skip this paragraph...or something. It says it was founded on August 22, 2000...I was still friends with him then wasn't I? He never told me he made a club. This information might be irrelevant, but I first told him about Plone and made him buy the CD. So I guess he really liked them. Wait, I should know. I shouldn't be angry, I don't know if I am, but I definitely don't want to join this club since I knew he founded it, and well there are only 6 members anyway, but how the hell am I going to get anyone to go to my Plone site if I don't tell the fans? ...maybe I'll just post something at the Plone message board at warp. But anyway, maybe something is wrong with ME, I mean I didn't find out about the club until now, more than a year later after it was made...

Actually, scratch that posting to the messageboard thing. It seems to have disappeared. What the hell? That was the only thing I could have done and now I can't do it. I mean, I can't find the messageboard, where is it?...okay, I found A messageboard, but it's not specifically for Plone. WHY DID THEY GET RID OF IT? ...screw it, just do me a favor and at least take a listen to
Plone and Even Johansen, I have a hard time finding their fans, and they must exist somewhere...

I'm lookin at B***'s yahoo profile majiggy, and he wrote that he was 20? He's not 20! I know that. Sigh. :P

Man, now I'm all annoyed. I wish I never found the Plone club. Let's all love Plone. Maybe I'll make a Even Johansen club. Members - 1. Haha. That's too depressing. Now I feel bad. This happened yesterday too. Sniff. There's no one online to talk to, what a surprise...not.

Oh yeah, unlike what I said in my other post, I decided against having a domain with the word thundepeel in it cos someone had and it didn't seem like such a special name anymore. I want to be...more special! I must.

I love how the results for the poll so far just shows a giant red circle. That will CHANGE after I get MORE VOTES right? Yeah. :)
Now you MUST help me! I made a poll:

Help me!
What name should I choose for my new domain? (ending with .com, .net, or...something else? I'm not sure yet)










View Results

I think the poll will last for 5 days. You can also take the poll here. So vote! (please?) The idea isn't really to suggest another name, so if you can help it, don't suggest another one, unless you think I'll DEFINITELY choose it. :)

Lina didn't put up the Bjork pictures I scanned from Cut magazine. That's why I scanned em! So other people could see em and...make them happy! Maybe I can use them for something else. If not... :( I mean, she told me where I could upload them, but I didn't understand what to do (which happens a lot) so I uploaded them somewhere else and told her, and then I never heard back from her. I guess it's possible she didn't get my e-mail but I definitely don't want to e-mail her back and find out, because I feel bad enough already and I hate annoying people (when I say that I mean annoying as a verb, not an adjective, you see?), although...I think I am pretty annoying, no? Lina seems nice though, I'm sure nothing is her fault (stuff is almost always my fault if you must know). Oh well, I have nothing else to contribute to the bjork community. And today I realized why the main page is called munity because then it's yeah? Actually, at the top of the page it says mutiny, is that a typo? Because that doesn't make any sense. The URL works...gee, that's a pretty stupid typo. Maybe they should fix that.

I wish I wasn't stupid, really! :( I mean, why would anyone wish otherwise? Sigh.

This is from the bjork mailing's a description of her new music video, Pagan Poetry, and it sounds absolutely freaky! Or weird.

The video starts up with a black background crossed by blur drops of a white-ish fluid (any guesses?). Then the screen turns white, and there are thin black lines. It's like these lines are suggesting some kind of shape, and they move as the image they would be suggesting turns sharper and later blur again. At some point we can guess we're watching her mouth singing, some other times it's her head we can see... But nothing is clear. (At some point I would have sworn I was watching five seconds of a penetration shot of a porn film, but I can't be sure)

Then we get a clear close-up, which somehow gave me the feeling of an amateur video, of her mouth covered with her mane while she sings. There is wind and her hair blows, and then back to the blur white images... Until we get another clear shot of her head. This time she's lying (on some white-ish cushons, I think) and she's singing, but it was very clear to me that there was some action going on further down on her body. I've only seen the video twice, but I think that in this part it looks like something (or someone?) is repeatedly pushing her (still, as I said, I can't be 100% sure).

Now back to the blurring white images, but now they get clearer and we see pearls threaded in string going through parts of her body. The most shocking part is when we see these pearls going through her nipple (or a least a nipple). The video is quite daring up to this point, but it is towards the end of the song, after she has said "pagan poetry" for the second time, when the best part starts.

Black background. There she is: a shot quite similar to the one at the beginning of Hidden Place, but this time she has many of these pearl strings around her shoulders. Her hair is blowing as she sings and screams, and you can see she's really feeling it (like she does in the Play Dead video). Sometimes she flails her arms and we see her breast. When the "I love him" part starts, on-screen Björk does not sing at all, but she looks down in a very shy posse and looks like she's going to cry. She does say the last "I love him", and now the look on her face is somewhere between joy, courage, and madness, and she sings the "this time..." part. During this sequence I just described we get two full-body shots, and she's wearing a very long plastic-like transparent-silverish skirt with all these pearl strings around.

Towards the very end, we see how two surgical needles go through someone's flesh as it is being held by some sort of surgical instrument. And the last shot of the video is another white blur image which gets sharper, and it turns to be her naked back pierced with six rings which hold another pearl string.

I have described it as accurately as I can. Yet I don't know if the video has been discussed here lately, as I've been to New York and haven't really paid much attention to the list. I would love to know it there are already versions of the video in the Internet, or if a dvd-single has been scheduled. This clip is amazing. And she looks very beautiful. Stunning.

Hmmmm...interesting? I want to see it. The description sounds too strange.

Did anyone watch Undeclared last night? I thought it was a pretty funny show. In some ways it reminded me of Freaks and Geeks (same creator, if I remember correctly) but Freaks and Geeks was probably better. But anyway, this show is okay too. And of course one of the coolest things is that the main character has a poster of MUTATIONS on the wall. That's BECK for those of you who don't know. COOL! I would like a poster for Mutations. That main character (who's name completely escapes me right now) is so terribly dorky, it's sad, but hey, Beck is cool. he? What does the poster signify? AHH! And Rufus's dad (Loudon Wainwright...oo) plays one messed up father on the show. Like...yeah. He's funny though.

Man today I walked around in wet shoes and socks all day. I have gym first...and it didn't rain, so we were out on the field which is incredibly wet ANYWAY, so my pants got wet and my shoes got soaked, and my feet were freezing for the rest of the day. But I guess I should know to bring in a separate pair of shoes and socks. I'll do that next week. :)

Today we had a memorial assembly for September 11th. I guess it was nice, although kind of depressing cos I just GOT OVER ALL THAT STUFF and then there was a slide show of all these pictures that were pretty tragic. My mum and I were planning to go to NY tomorrow, but she changed her mind. She wanted to see the memorial in Union Square, but she said it was taken I mean, it hasn't been THAT long really. Oh well. I guess it'll be nice to just stay home and sleep and eat yummy stuff.

Today'd Libido song I had stuck in my head all day was "Crash Out"...eekeer!

Oh yeah, I finally decided on the domain name thunderpeel. Dot something. Someone registered! dot net is slill unclaimed I think. What other thingies can you have after the dot? maybe I'll just pick a really weird one. I decided on thunderpeel because it means absolutely nothing, at least in my mind it doesn't. I mean, it's the name of a beck song, but other than that, it's just like two dissimilar words mushed together, right? What the heck is a thunderpeel? I dunno. Well gimme some suggestions...what goes after the dot? :)

September 25, 2001

This site is weird.

I thought this was funny, although maybe it's not.

E*vax make terribly cutesy electronic music. Reminds me of fluffy clouds. No wait...fluffly cute bunnies riding on fluffy cute clouds. My god, shoot me.

Taken from an interview with E*vax:

I never had an SK-1, but my brother did. I was definitely jealous. I remember getting a birthday gift from my parents one year that came in a sk-1 sized box, I was pretty excited but it turned out to be an electric toothbrush.

That sounds very sad, although I thought it was funny. It is funny. HAHAHAHA I laugh. I think an SK-1 is this little casio sampler thing that isn't made anymore, but it's little and simple and does some cool stuff. Screw the electric toothbrush.

Someone just messaged me on AIM and asked if I lived in Texas., I don't, for anyone that's wondering.

god crappit, I hate this stupid computer. the internet sucks too. i'm gonna complain if you're wondering. yeah i do that a lot, but heres a warning, I'M GOING TO COMPLAIN, now you can decide whether or not you wanna read the rest of this crap. The internet is slow and heck, i hope my mum doesnt pay for this, but i think she does...juno sucks. dial up connection sucks. and then the stupid stuff at the bottom went all freezee on me, and i was listening to even, and then it went FREEZY for christ's sake...

argh life is stupid. look what i'm doing with my life. i'm sitting here and typing crap. never a good day. i used to think that every day got worse, which meant that ever day was the worst day of my life, and that's not really true (I got that from the movie Office Space pretty much) but still, I wouldn't mind you know, NOT living. I say that lot, I don't know if I really mean it.

The internet is weird. I like it because i can think about what i want to say and then type out stuff, but then i realized sometimes I might be in a bad mood but i can still appear happy on the internet, like if I'm typing in here or chatting with someone or writing an e-mail. so how do you know what anyone is like? you dont really. i dont mean people going around with fake identities, but when i chat with people i usually seem pretty perfky and chipper and some other really stupid adjectives, but i'm not always. sometimes i AM but most of the time i just dont feel like being mean to someone i dont know very well just cos i'm in a bad mood. i'm thinking mainly of random beck fans that have messaged me over the years (not that many actually) and...well...I dunno. i'm not really good friends with any beck fans, why is that? i must be one of those strange beck fans. i think about that a lot. i like beck. or maybe i'm just telling myself that.

i really hate being in a bad mood on the internet when i'm chatting with someone, because i dont want to bring the other person down, you know? i think at most i've probably been all p-oed 2 or 3 times. maybe less. its safe to say there are about a bagillion things no one knows about me. or hurts. feel the pain! *zap*. that was mean of me, sorry. don't feel the pain. i'll absorb it like a sponge. (sponges are scaaary)...

i want to eat dinner now. i think i'll go do that. i feel really cold like my ORGANS just froze over. that happens sometimes, you know the feeling? its a terrible feeling. actually, this isn't really. last year was worse. i think last year i started going crazy around this time, and october too. nothing has really happened yet THIS year that would make me want to kill all the kids in my school and walk in the middle of traffic, isn't that nice? yeah, always a good thing. why are you reading this?
did anyone else think this was the worst crowd ever? horrible... people walking around during the set... a few people talking... the worst was a security guard who decided he was going to yell for a while during one of the most quiet songs. i went and talked to the head of security after the show just to let him know that one of the guards totally ruined one of the songs.

That was a comment in regard to the Sigur Ros concert last night in NY at the Beacon Theater. Of course, I wasn't there, but what, are New Yorkers just rude poop heads? I mean it only takes a few, but at th eother concert I thought some people were pretty rude, but this sounds worse. That's too bad really, I mean...jeez! I don't understand why these people would go to the concert if they weren't going to be attentive and just listen to the music, that disappoints me...

Anyway. When am I going to buy a Sigur Ros tshirt? foof. When am I going to buy a domain? Hmmm. When am I gonna eat dinner? In an hour, probably.

I didn't get as much junk mail today as I usually do! Oo that's good. What does it mean? That financial people and the business people and the porn people finally figured out that I'm only 16 and can't do anything? Hmm.

What the heck is this? Hmmm.

Hey I think I got an A on my physics quiz...WOO. I mean there were only two questions. They were pretty easy. I'm sure more of the class got em right.

I want more rain! I don't want to play soccer we didn't play, and I got to sit in the weight room and do nothing. WOO!

mMmhmhmdfgnuiwrfn!IUsefuisd god i dunno. I've had Overthrown stuck in my head ALL FRIGGIN DAY!
Argh I hate the stupid crushlink thing. Whoever put my e-mail address in, not very nice you see, because I'll never find out who the person is, and I probably don't want to know, but I don't really get any hints. I got an e-mail saying I'd get a hint if I registered with an online job website, but I kind of can't register cos I'm under 18, and heey I'm not desperate enough to lie about my age.

:) Me, definitely not 18.

I found out today that some people only need about 3 hours of sleep at night because all you really need is 3 hours of REM sleep, and those special people can go directly to the REM stage when they go to sleep. Those special people are mostly those with a genius-level IQ (or at least, that's what I was told)...I wish I was one of those special people, so I could thrive 3 hours of sleep each night.

Man, I tooo wish i was one of those people. That, by the way, was taken from stephooo's site. Yup, I'm sure she appreciates me calling her STEPHOOO! Also taken from her site, are these, two. Who would spend so much time making a list of the ideal guy/girl? ...okay, a lot of people I guess, but if you ask me it could never be good to be with...the "perfect" person, not that I know, but if you think too much about that stuff, you'll probably just set yourself up for disappointment.

i want a boy...
1. who likes radiohead.

That's definitely great though, THOM IS MY ROCK STAR BOYFRIEND HAHEHAHha the That dude's list of traits for a girl is way too long. I haven't read it all, but as I said before, reading words make me tired (did I say that?)

I'm listening to Libido again. Maybe I should listen to something else....NOOOO!

As for the bjork referencefor a domain name, lea, I decided just to stick with Beck, because...I know mostly about Beck? :) I love Bjork of course, but...I dunno. There are more cool Beck related things to think of, heehee. Maybe TOOO many...

This morning I wok up at like 5:30 with a bloody nose. It wasn't totally pouring out or anything, but not fun, yeah? Cos it's pitch black at that time in the morning, but at least I had a box of tissues next to me. I was up before then hearing the RAIN and god it was raining...hard! And it might still be raining now, but not as hard. I love hearing rain! I like seeing it too though. RAIN WHEN I CAN SEEEE IT, GOD CRAAAPPIIT. I wanted to get one of those little machines that would make noise, and my mum almost let me have one but then I decided I didn't realllly need it. I used to have major trouble going to sleep, but it hasn't been so bad now. ...woo, I guess.

September 24, 2001

Man, what the hell am I doing? It's like 10:15 and I'm sitting here. Crap, I didn't write my Russian yet. Well I can do that tomorrow I guess. Eh. Foo.

Garg the TV doesn't work. I can't see any of the stations that have 10 o clock news. I'm kind of curious as to what's...HAPPENING in the world, yeah? I guess I could just go to a website and read the news, but I'd much rather just watch TV. Reading words makes me bored after a while. Are you bored yet?

OO I think it's going to rain! Yay! No soccer! I hope.

Listening to another new Aphex Twin song, "Cock 10 (Delco Freedom Mix)"...hmhmmhmh foofer, it's okay. I think I like "54 Cymru Beats" better though. At warp records they're selling a two track CD of those...two tracks...before the album comes out. Should I buy? I guess not.

God I should go to bed. I haven't even taken a shower yet. Is anyone reading this? Man, what the hell do people do all day? I ask that question and no one ever seems to answer. Obviously, I should be doing something better with my time than writing in this, but oh well. Thus, the pathetic stream of life continues, yay!
Jesus, THIS is disturbing! I found that there's a link to my site, and then I'm like AHH! I mean, it's just kind of creepy. Beck! What is with these people?! :P

..anyway. Who thinks I need a hair cut? I mean, not necessarily chop off a few inches, but maybe get it cut in some way? It's so freakin LONG now, I've never had hair all past my shoulders. Professional hair salons have been uncharted territory for me for the past 3 years, hehe. They've got scissors...SCAARYY! DON'T HURT MEEE! I don't think I'd look good with bangs. Yeah, hair is annoying. It's not like I'm into hair styles or have any...female role models to look to? Well I have my Bjork book. Hmmm...nope, nuttin there (the book is cool though, buy it! Actually, I was a little disappointed at first, but hey it was about 25 bucks on amazon, so I guess it's a good deal). Bjork has had some cool hair dos though. Now her hair is kind of messy and all over the place, my mum hates it. :)
At Columbia House I can get two "free" cds for every one that I buy. Hm. I don't think there's anything that I want from them for now though. Unless I want another copy of Kid A. Too bad they don't have more cool techo stuff, cos then I'd probably buy that. I COULD get more Aphex Twin...*ponders*...


Today in physics I felt like I was going to sleep...I mean, this was more boring than it usual is. I dunno WHAT the teacher was talking about, but it was some complicated crap...maybe. If you saw my notes, you probably would have no idea what it means. And neither would I. That kind of defeats the purpose of taking notes. I remember...letters. About ten million variables. So we could compute how long it takes a basketball to getinto a hoop when thrown at blah blah meter per second and the dude is blah blah meters away from the basket...ARGH WHO CARES!

...anyway, I'm fine, yeah. I can't tell if I'm one of the stupid people in my class or...maybe they're real smart, but in the beginning of class the teacher always asks if we have any questions and usually someone says something, but today no one said ANYTHING, and I certainly didn't get all the questions on the homework right, so I had him do two problems that I couldn't get (I made a retarded mistake in the first one) but maybe the other people just didn't do their homework yet. I'll just say that. I'm not retarded...wee!

And that quiz we took last week, tons of people got As on it. NOO MY GRAPH WAS DRAWN THE NICEST they don't deserrrrve As!, don't I sound crazy? I don't care about grades that much, but I was really proud of that stupid graph for about a day...

For whatever reason, the first half of Killing Some Dead Time (hey you can buy it used for 2 bucks! Cool, buy it NOW!) seems to be a LOT better than the second, and then I feel bad for only listening to the first 6 songs. I feel guilt! It's mushy. Guilt feels mushy! Who would have known. Oh well, it's nice to hear Even singing, woopeedoo!

I still don't know what to call my domain. Come on guuyyyyys!...(that sounded eerily perky, uhoh)...I'm terribly indecisive! :(

Hey, I should write a review for Killing Some Dead Time...there's only one here. Hmmhmh. This person gave it 5 stars...I'd say 4 stars, 5 is nearly PERFECT and I leave that for Beck, Radiohead, and Bjork. :)

September 23, 2001

Man, I should have recorded this show. Conan's fightin with a rubber crocodile! Actually, I saw that episode already. HAHAHAHA GOD Max is crazy, neehehehe! He shot Andy!...Richter. Man...

CONAN IN IRELAND! I never saw THIS episode. Hehe. OHMYGOD! This is so funny, he's being chased by little Irish school kids. Aw. How...sad. I can't wait til the summer, then I can see a taping of Conan. Actually, I could go ANYTIME, technically speaking, because I could go to NY right after school, but I thought it'd be best to wait until the summer. Oh yeah, my brother will be back, so he'll wanna go that's another reason.

Jesus christ, right now there's a clip of Johnny Rotton on the Late Show with Tom Snyder and he looked eerily like Thom. Actually, it's probably more the other way around, but anyway, I got scared. The red haaair! Spoooky.
I'm watching the 50 years of Late Night thing on NBC...David Letterman is funnnyy, heehee. I would have liked to watch the old shows. He seem to do more stufff on the old shows, you know what I mean? Also, Paul...with hair! It's just nuts, I'm tellin ya...Dave with hair! ...okay, he still has hair, but not as much, you see? He kind of has a comma shaped doodah on his head now.

...I wish I could stay up allll night and watch late shows. Quality television, it's all right there! RIGHTthere! Ohmygod, how cute, a doggy walkin, it looks kinda scary. Right now they're showing stupid pet tricks. Remember when that dog bit Dave?...*dead silence*...okay!

GAH CONAN'S HEAD! So large! He's hosting the show. He's being pretty boring though, I don't think he can *shine* just HOSTING a show. He can't act stupid! CONAAAAN! YOU RULE EVERYYYTHING!

*that was a slight exaggeration*...

I've been eating this soy ice cream stuff, and it tastes just like ice cream. Really yummy! But I should try not eating soy ice cream...or any dessert type thing.

What the ::beep::...I got this e-mail from CrushLink, but I have no crushes, so this is kind of pointless. *delete*...I know about three guys, yeah?'s a FEEEmaaale! Uhoh. I'M NOT A LESBIAN!

...anyway! You know what's good? Brownies with nuts in em. You know what else is good? Nuts covered in BROWNIE!


Yeah I was hoping to get Thom, but that would be pretty wrong, wouldn't it. I dunno what the other possibilities were, but they must have been...very...different?

You and Thom Yorke are a match made in heaven!. You're both quite shy, but highly intelligent and creative people. You might be described as being a wallflower at parties, but it is probably because you're so deep in thought! Music is a huge part of your life and you prefer to experiment with different genres of music, rather than sticking to the same thing, which makes you a perfect couple!

Really, I wouldn't even GO to parties. And Thom is more angry at stuff than I am. The description doesn't mention the CONSTANT PAIN AND ANGER! Haha, just kidding. If I was at a party, I wouldn't be a wallflower because I'm so deep in though, unless that thought is "I wanna go home!..." but I'd be a wallflower because people scare me.


My dad cut down a (little) tree. Isn't that stupid? I mean, I didn't notice any of the trees in the backyard being a problem, but he said it was blocking out the sunlight, and there were too many trees, blah blah. We live in a forest practically! If he didn't want trees blocking the sunlight, then he should have picked a house that WASN'T surround by trees, yeah? I don't like this cutting-of-trees thing, it's stupid, now that tree is going to rot, what a waste of life.

That makes me sad. :( Feel for the tree!
I ate a lot of pastriiies. Eh. Last night some cousins were over and they brought a box of little pastries and they were kind of small, so I ate...three of em? Um. Well now they're all mushed up in my digestive juices, isn't that nice?

It's SUNDAY! GARG crappit I hope it rains tomorrow. I think it's supposed to. In gym we're starting soccer. Everyone knows what soccer is, right? The gym teacher was telling us about one of his students that didn't know what a soccer ball was, that's kind of scary. I'm no good at soccer though, but I can say the same about any sport. The only things I don't totally suck at are tennis and badmitton, and I'm pretty bad at those. It's just not too hard to whack a flying thingy with a raquet, yeah?

But then it shouldn't be hard to hit a ball with your FOOT. So maybe I shouldn't say anything, yeah?

I'm listening to Libido, wee fuun stuff! What else should I listen to...okee, now I'm listening to Autechre. I only downloaded one song (Basscadet) but I somewhat like it, maybe I'll buy an album. I also downloaded "Come On My Selector" by Squarepusher, I don't like this one as much. Squarepusher is supposed to be good though, right? Generally I'll trust anything from Warp Records, although I'm judging them solely on PLONE and Aphex Twin, hehe. BUT PLOONE YAAY HOW I LOVE THEE...oh yeah, and Boards of Canada is supposed to be good. I downloaded "Aquarius" and it's okay, but actually, it's not *bloopy bleepy* enough for me. I must be missing something.

Oh yeah, and are the Strokes really that good? For the past few months it's like that's the only band I hear about and now I'm hearing more about them now that they're releasing their album in the US. I don't think they play the kind of music I like, I downloaded a song and it was...uh, I dunno. What I want to get is another Godspeed You Black Emperor! album

Ahh I have to do my laundry! Poop.
What's the point of this site? Hm well it entertained me for a bit, hehe...

Well I went to the fair with Cristen and it was prettttty sad, but yeah well, that's what fairs are like! We went on this ride, it was realllly funny, it was like a ride simulating going into space, and it costed $4, and it was very sad. But funny. I don't know what was happening, I was just making noises. There were space ships on this screen, it was like from the 70s or something.

So after walking around a bit we crossed the street and went to the Hallmark store and Market Basket. My god, there were tons of teeeenagers just hanging out around there. I don't mind teenagers if there aren't a whole PACK of them. But there was a PACK. Gerg.

So anyway. Cristen and I watched Momento and Princess Mononoke. Momento was a good movie, kind of weird since it went backwards (well, kind of) and it ended pretty abruptly, but it was interesting, yeah. The main dude has no short term memory so he can't remember...stuff. I mean, after a certain accident, he couldn't remember anything, he could remember everything before that pretty much. Princess Mononoke is cool too. I wish all of Hayao Miyazaki's movies could be translated to English...well they all kind of are I think, but fooooof. I want to see Nausicaa, and there was a version released in English a long time ago but apparently it sucked real bad. So maybe they'll redo that. Or I could just buy the one in Japanese and get something out of that, I know they sell it at Kinokuniya. I mean I've done that before and while I'm sure I missed a lot of stuff by not understanding the movie,! I think the alternative of learning Japanese would take too long. I remember there is this really good movie called Graveyard of the Fireflies, and it was really sad. I haven't watched it ages, maybe I should watch that...

Uh...hello! I'd like to say that I don't eat weird food. Some people seem to cringe at the thought of eating eel or whatever, but this is completely stupid, eel isn't even strange. Okay, not all of you, but not just eel, other stuff too. I don't get my food at weird places, I just might eat different food than you, but what's the big deal? So I like organic stuff and don't like dairy stuff too much (exclude that one pizza for now, hehe) so does that make me really repulsive just because I've done a little research on the kind of food that produced in America? So just a note for the future, don't question the food I eat and certainly don't criticize it. I don't think I make fun of people or criticize them, and if I do you can bring that to my attention.

Yeah, why do lots of people have to criticize others and point out their faults? I think about that sometimes, because I don't really "get" it. I...nevermind.

I had a really good cookie today. It was from Whole Foods. It would seem that it'd be a lot easier to make food out of few ingredients that aren't artificial and crap, but of course most stuff isn't made that way. It's too expensive, let's make tons of articifial crap and make America the center of really bad food! Of course not everyone just cares about money, but if you're like my dad then you'll never have anything of quality and you'll never do anything worthwhile when all you can obsess about is money. That's a reason why I dislike my dad so much, everything revolves around money, and it's his whole family. Okay, I'm part of the family, but I'm talking about his dad and mum and his brothers.

They must have had a terrible childhood, my grandpa is about the most unpleasant person you'll ever meet. ... ... ..almost. Because if you met him you wouldn't really know what he's like, same with my dad. And then I don't even know Chinese. When I think about it there must be so much I don't know from conversations I don't understand and stuff. I'd never want to learn Chinese or Taiwanese, besides they're really hard languages and I'd never want to know what the other people in my family talk about. It's all stupid. Sometimes my mum tells me what they're talking about, and it's the most ridiculous stuff.

Well everything I just wrote about now means nothing, what a waste of time...I'm just sitting here anyway.

September 22, 2001

2 comments? PITIFUL! PITIFUL HYOOOMANS!, anyway. cyanidemint and novacane(boy) and very possible, reboperino. thunderpeel stuck in my mind first, but anything goes, really.

Today I'm going to the Town Fair with Cristen! wooee? What is at the fair, I don't know, but I have a few bucks, oo!

Today I bought something in the Whole Foods market called Penne and Chreese. I mean, i know what PENNE is, but chreese? Trees? :) Fake cheese! I wonder what that'll taste like.

September 21, 2001

I just remembered, a few days ago I got Dance Dance Revolution in the brother bought it, although I guess I'm supposed to use it. It's pretty cool, about 70 bucks with shipping and stuff, which isn't too get the game and the dance mat. Could I possibly get some kind of physical activity out of this? Hehe. I'll have to get back to you on that later...

Anyway, I watched the two hour special on the telly. I thought it was nice. There was a dude who wore a Radiohead shirt. That made it a bit cooler. I don't know who he was, but he was sitting next to Fred Durst. Hmm. Immediately I was like "RADIOHEAD SHIRT!" and pointing and stuff.

But...ANYWAY, that's not what it's about. I wonder how much money they'll end up raising. I liked the part when they showed footage of people in differnet European countries having a moment of slience, it was kind of eerie, but shows how much people have been effected that don't live in the US, I guess.

Blue Domino still seems like the best place for web hosting. I'm still not sure of a name though. I'm trying ot make a list of Beck related words that wouldn't necessarily be automatically associated with beck, but if you like Beck then you'll get it...yeah? Like here's stuff:

cyanidebreathmint (well that might be too long)
hollowlog (that looks weird)
sissyneck (what does that mean?)
static (that sounds too general)
diskobox (that song is so cool...if you're wondering. :))

Okay, that list is definitely too long. Those are just song names, mind you, I didn't get into lyrics or anything. Crap. Well it'd probably be easy to narrow that list down a bit, but tell me what you think anyway.

He's talking about how hard it was to do the first show on Tuesday since the attack...I recorded that, it was pretty weird. It was sad and you could just see how much Conan was...struggling with stuff, trying to find the right words to say and that kind of thing. :P

But anyway, it's FRIDAY! I'd say today was ok in school. I think I did well on all the tests I took. The physics quiz was kind of weird...the first question was about a ball being tossed up and another being thrown down off a building and you have to say where and when they meet, blah blah, I think I got that right. And apprently I was like the only person who got the second question right, which is so stupid because it was easy, I swear. There was a graph of velocity and time and you had to graph the displacement/time and velocity/time graph. It was really a manner of memorizing...stuff. That's what I did during study hall at least. And anyway, everyone had trouble with the displacement/tiem graph but the teacher kind of just went over that yesterday, and in class I don't understand anything but I looked at my notes and...yeah, no problem! I hate it when I get all the EASY crap wrong, and what apparently is "hard" I sometimes get right, once in a blue moon. :P

I got a C on my lab though. Hehe. Well, it could have been worse!

During English we just discussed...stuff. We kind of got off topic and talked about the attack and the twin towers being rebuilt in the future. It was funny though, this was how the discussion went at one point:

"They should build a hexagon shaped building...and call it the Hexagon!"
"That's a cool idea."
"What about square shaped?" Wouldn't that just be...a normal building?
"How about the Rectangle?" My teacher said a kidding way of course.
"They should build it out of rubber! And then the planes would bounce right off..."

It was funny at the time, trust me.

Mm I had CHEESE today...I had more of that yummy pizza. Man! I mean it'd taste good without the cheese too, but..yeah...I shouldn't eat cheese, ya, I know, but foof! PESTO PIZZA is yummmmyyy.

September 20, 2001

God crappit, my dad is so annoying. As a last ditch effort, I asked him if I could go to the Sigur Ros concert next Wednesday and he kind of said yes and no, so screw that, it's not worth all the arguing. He lectured me for a really long time about stuff that's not even related to the concert, so generally I've learned my lesson to never ask him for anything. I mean, I knew that already, but I really like Sigur Ros, yeah? I'd like to see em.

Anyway. I don't wanna get any more into that, it wouldn't matter really.

Well today it rained a lot and it was cloudy all day...yay! I love that. The sun can poo it! POO ITTT!

The getting-my-own domain idea is lookin better. At least my mum thinks it's a nice idea. Wooee. I dunno what to call it though. Yeah, that's like my biggest roadblock...what do I call it? :P

God I'm TIRED. I have to study for stuff...lets see, tomorrow I have a test in Russian and history, and a quiz in physics. I guess that's not so bad. I had my precalc quiz today, I didn't finish it. I'm SLOW! :(

Ah...not much else to say I think. Yeaaah. I wanna go sleep sleep.

Jesus christ, I was looking at referrers for my beck site and one linked to someone's inbox! And I can read the person's e-mails. Apparently the security isn't very good on this site. I mean I shouldn't read this person's e-mails, but I'm curious to see who it is. Then again I probably don't know em. Nevermind.
Jeez, this morning I woke up at like 4 AM to pee. I had to pee so badly that initially I COULDN'T know what I mean? I think my bladder must be not liking me too much. I don't want my bladder to explode! kidneys...or..any of that other important stuff. Remember that episode of the Simpsons when Grandpa Simpson had to pee and then his kidneys exploded? Hehe. Um.

September 19, 2001

Okay, now my Beck site works? I mean...the free websites will be discontinued on October 7th, but it wasn't working so I figured mine was dead already. Oh well, still got a few weeks. I thought what would be a nice thing to do would be to set up my own domain somewhere, like or something Beck related, and host other Beck sites. Or if you're my friend, I'll host your site (cos you know, there are SOO many of you out there...ha) and have a great big happy community of people who love me.

...or something. Wait. You can't buy love...NEVERRRR...but I think it'd be cool if a bunch of my friends and I could set up something. Then again we've semi-discussed this before and never really did anything. precious! The idea of blowing $200+ on a website for a YEAR seems astronomical to me, but then through allowance I get...a lot more than $200 a year. Still. $200 could buy me a lot of Pocky! (Pocky is a yummy Japanese snack if you're wondering...and it comes in so many flavors! Buy some Pocky today!)

I got an e-mail from Nevin Martell (who wrote that book about Beck) and I thought that was cool...I must have put something on my Beck site about it, and there were like 2 covers for the book but he decided to change it at the last minute...and I bought that book in part because my site is mentioned and FOOPer, I'm still a bit angry, you understand. It wasn't even like a great big site but there are only so many things in my life I can be proud of...when I think about it, there ISN'T much to be proud of. I can think of many things not to beb proud of...

Today in gym we played frisbee baseball. I wouldn't call it fun, but definitely better than REAL baseball, I mean, frisbee's have more air time. Unless you chuck it into the ground for some reason. I guess it's a joky in my class that I hardly speak, cos today the teacher said...something to me...oh yeah he handed me a frisbee, and he said to the class something in the line of "By the end of the year, I'll have a real conversation with Robyn"...HHAHAHA guffaw I laugh. At least I wasn't in a bad mood or I could have taken that the wrong way. Maybe we WILL have a real conversation, but I kind of doubt it. :)

We have this new football field, and it's made of fake grass and crap, and there's all this rubber crap on the field. It's kind of like dirt. It makes the field kind of springy, but it's gross cos it's wet in the morning and sticks all over your shoes and on the frisbees that land on the "grass"...hmmmmmmmmhmhmh well supposedly the rubber crap is supposed to settle out at some point.

Physics...still poop.

History is...weird. People in my class are annoying. There is a really big difference between CD classes and H/AP classes in this sense. These people just don't know when to stop talking and give the teacher some form of respect. And it's not like my teacher is annoying. She doesn't have enough authority over the people in my class though. She's not scary or anything. Hmmm. And there's a guy in my class who doesn't really say anything, kind of like me I guess (how sad) and there's this guy who keeps annoying him during class and it annoys me too, cos I don't really understand why anyone would do that, yeah? That's me, I've got a HEART of GOLD!...

Well, at least 18 karat. Maybe.

I ate eel today! In school! (I put it in a thermos)...and then I came home, and ate some MORE!...eel. And then I ate an orange. And then I ate a banana. And then I ate this little pasty thing I got from the Minamoto Kitchoan. And then I ate...something else from there, it's like a bean, something, I dunno, it's yummy. Do I have homework to do? Why am I here? I feel like all my friends are busier than I am, so what am I doing? Hm.

I need mittens...NOW! MITTEEEENS! I was bitten by a kitten wearing mittens. No I wasn't.

I picked a Russian name today...Polina. It wasn't the prettiest or the ugliest name, so hey good enough for me! Written in Russian it's Полина (if it looks like Ïîëèíà then that's not correct. It might look different on your computer, I dunno...:P). At least I hope so. I'm supposed to know all the letters's pretty easy to write. The Russian alphabet isn't that hard either, it's very phoenetic. Still, reading words goes very sloooowly. :P

Last night at around 9:15 PM, I'm lying on my bed thinking "Ooo maybe I'll go to bed early, yeah!" and then...I hear something. Strange. My radio was on, so I turn is off and HOLY JESUS CHRIST I hear the DRUM LINE of the marching band! What is this? I mean...COME ON I can't escape the terrors of marching band even in my own home? Like quitting wasn't enough. Really, at that moment, I was really angry! And I don't really get angry a lot. Because hearing the drums reminds me of marching band and I hated it for my own reason...some of you know, yeah? I don't live right nex to the school...I live pretty close, I can grant you that, but I'm going to assume the drum line was practicing on the field and that itself is faaarther away, and...JESUS! I hope that doesn't happen again.

September 18, 2001

GOD my computer is crapping like...CRAP! CRAP! STOP DOING THAT FOR CHRIST'S SAKE GAARRRG!...

Anyway, let's wish Cristen a happy 16th birthday. WOOEEE *throws confetti*...actually, to be completely honest, I don't have any confetti, but ANYWAY! GOD CRAPPIT this is crapping..HUH...okay there it goes.

I'm surprised my computer hasn't exploded yet.

I'm still mad at freespeech. There was no warning that they would just cancel everything! Sheesh. If I had known I wouldn't have spent that time making a new page...oh well. At least I didn't spend hours scanning Beck pictures that no one would get to see anyway...

the title track of ágætis byrjun will be in the cameron crowe film, vanilla sky. the thriller will be premiered in america on dec 14, starring tom cruise, penélope cruz, kurt russel and cameron diaz. sigur rós have rejected such offers in the past but when asked why they accepted this one, orri said "crowe is a good director. also, the music in the movie is very cool. songs by the beatles and radiohead will also be in the movie."

That's cool...I guess. I mean I don't plan on seeing the movie, but the music sounds cool...oo.

M...hey today in gym class I caught the frisbee!...once...but hey I didn't drop it, that's always good. A girl that I don't really like too much volunteered to be my partner during the practice we did before the actually games. I don't know why she did that, but it was a nice thing to do. . . I guess?

Hm. I'm kind of hungry. Or maybe I'm not. I want to eat SOMETHING.

Isn't it weird that it's already been a week since the plane crashes? It didn't seem that long. Eh. :(
Crap, I'm so tired. Sigh.

freespeech stopped it's free service...then shouldn't they change the name to notfreespeech? Cos unless I feel like paying 100 bucks a year, my Beck site is dead, and that makes me sad. This is really annoying.

MM...anyway. I'm so tired. I wanna diiiieee ARRRghhhh oh well.

September 17, 2001

I hate physics. No change from the norm...I just don't get it. I mean, I wonder what the point of a LOT of things are, but the point of physics is beyond me.

School wasn't so terrible today, but still, another 4 days? God...crappit.

Mm. There isn't much else to say. School sucked. Like is poop. I eat too much cos I hate school and it's supposed to make me feel better but it kind of doesn't, yeah? :(

There's normal TV on...not just news all the time. OO wow. Oh well.
I had another weiiirrrd dream last night. Yikes! There were like...terrorists at my school. Hmmm. Actually, what I remember is the principal saying that our school was hijacked, which doesn't make sense so I'm going to say terrorists.

The school was supposed to be TAS I was gigantic. First of all, we had gym class and we played basketball. After that I remember changing out my my gym clothes and not hearing the bell ring...I was trying to get to my physics class and all these people were taking elevators somewhere. I decided it woudl be faster to take an elevator (for some reason there were a whole bunch of them) and so I took it to the second floor and it didn't look like school at all. It had turned dark and rainy, and my watch stopped working. Then I heard the principal on the loudspeaker telling us that we were in danger or something. Still, I was thinking that I had to get to my class, so I walked around, although I had no idea where I was. I somehow got to this area that was like a gigantic mall...except it was really nice, there were chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and I was just walking around. I asked some clerks how to get to the junior locker area and they didn't know, and one lady said to look in my book that would say where it was or something? I don't think I ever found out.

At some point I saw my mum...and then it was sunny and not raining, and I wasn't even in school anymore. We were like in some place..that was surrounded by trees and dirt and stuff, like...I dunno. I had a choice to leave by going to the right or left, and I went left first, but that was wrong, so I had something that was supposed to go back in time and then I could go right, and it was really weird.

...anyway! I'm tired. 5 days of hellll to live through. And then NEXT week I think I get a 4 day weekend...I can't wait.

September 16, 2001

Sundays suck.

But not as much as mondays. FOO.

So I've got lots of homework I COULD do but I really don't want to. Duh.

I had a really weird dream last night. For the first time I can ever remember, I shouted in my sleep. I mean, I was shouting in my dream, and then I actually shouted and it woke me up. It was like 7:30 AM...yeesh. In this dream...I think I went into the future...yeah, probably the future...or I was in some other place. For ever day I spent in that place, 8 years passed, that doesn't even make sense. First I remember walking around with some friends (Simone and Carol...where did they come from?) in a grassy field and there were lots of trees too. I also went swimming in this man made lake and waterfall, it was really there was this other weird thing, this person was after me. I don't think they wanted to kill me but I was really afraid of this person, and he (or she?) could morph into any other person, so I didn't know who the person was. I found out the person was posing as this lady that I thought was my friend, and when she showed her real face I ran like hell...and Cristen was there too (that was weird) and we were in a train station maybe? There were lots of stairs and we ran like nuts, but the person was right behind us. And Cristen managed to hide herself in the ceiling or something and I was standing there and we tried to distract the person that was after us, and I shouted HELP and then I woke up. Weird, no?

The other dream I had was really messed up as well...not AS messed up. Hmmmhmhmh.

Go here! More people need to get click!

*Yawn*...maybe I should go back to sleep.

September 15, 2001

Can you tell me whether or not my Beck site works? I uploaded something to it and it won't load...

Anyway. The weekend is too short. I haven't done any homework, and I highly doubt I will. I think I have to redo my physics homework because even though I finished it, I didn't do it the way the teacher told us to because he only told us on Friday. I mean, it took me all week to do! And then he tells us this easy way to do it. Sigh. Well not really easy, but...this is annoying.

Why won't my stupid Beck site work? I redid the index page so it would look nicer and not too it won't work...

Why isn't anyone ever online? Then again, who is "anyone"...there are only a few people I guess I would care are online but it's like I am completely alone. It's like nearly everyone fell off the face of the earth. Then again it doesn't matter that much because there isn't anyone that I really, really, REALLY enjoy chatting with online. I know some of my friends read this and don't take that the wrong way, but I'm sure you'd say the same about me, and if you wouldn't, then I dunno, I'm not that amusing...

It's a good thing I like hanging out with my mum, because then I would be bored out of my mind...not just bored, I mean crazy. Who else would I talk to? The wall? Maybe that would be good.

I really shouldn't complain about stuff. Oh well.

Isn't this sad?
I ate so much today.

Anyway. The beginning..I had two VERY strange dreams last night. One was terrorist related, and the other was just reaaaaalllly weird, but ANYWAY! The first dream was weird, I think I was in a mall with some friends, and these guys cam ein with guns and told us to give them money...yeah, that sounds more liek buglars but they weren't really, but they DIDN'T take our money and they had these giant SUVs. And...some other machinery...and they were like running over people. It was weird, man! Not like scary, more like "Huh?" And then we escaped by jumping out of a window and swimming to the shore (we were by water? I dunno)...and that was it. HUH? Weird...

The second dream I couldn't even begin to describe, but there was a dude who died and came back to life...and wanted to kill me or something? Cos I kind of killed him? Um.

Yeaaah, so for LUNCH, my mum and I went to a yummy Indian was a BUFFET! YAY! And then we went to Edgewater. There's a gigantic American flag hanging over the George Washington Bridge. Well...kind of over it. Kind of not. If you saw it you'd know what I mean. You can see white smoke rising from where the Twin Towers were. :(

But I was generally in a good mood. My mum and I went to Mitsuwa and Kinokuniya, where I got Rockin On with Bjork..and there's Radiohead and Beck in there, yay! We got lots of yummy stuff at Mitsuwa, lots of nice desserts from the Minamoto Kitchoan (I may have spelled that wrong, but anyway they make nice desserts with red bean and jelly and fruits and stuff) so we sat somewhere by the edge of the Hudson river and just sat there eating. Oo. Oh yeah, we also got some postcards. Most of them with any pictures of the Twin Towers are gone, but we found a handful so we got...those.

I'm going to eat a cookie...yummmm...

September 14, 2001

Foof, I just spent more than an hour scanning and editing Bjork pictures. I hope could use em, or I'd be kind of annoyed!...well I shouldn't be, I could have made the whole process a million times easier if I cut the pictures out of the magazine but I kind of wanted to keep it intact. :P

WHY THE HELL ISN'T HOTMAIL WORKING! ARGH it crashed IE then Juno then IE again...this is so annoying. Poo it.

Anyway, I'm in a great mood, ding dong! Um. I dunno what that was for. School was okay, it rained most of the day so we didn't have to go outside and play frisbee in gym class. I went into the weight room and did leg extensions the whole time, and then it felt funny to walk around. We had a choice of playing kickball or going into the weight room and the teacher said "If you don't think you're going to participate much in the game, I suggest you go to the weightroom," and no one was getting up so I got up, and this kid laughed...not really at me, but just that someone was getting up I guess. He's a bit strange. Well I hate kickball, so FOO! Yeah.

I got two Bjork books from yesterday, Army of She and Bjork. They're both nice books. Army of She is very interesting I think, it's like a long essay. Or a short book. Hm. It's not really a biography, it's else? And the other book is a little disappointing in some ways, I heard that a lot of it was just blank pages and it is. It's supposed to be "minimalistic" I suppose, but it seems stupid to have a nearly blank page with the name of a photographer on it and the next page with the picture. Oh well, it's still cool! I think it could have been...better. I feel compelled to stick my own pictures in the blank spaces...

I got a B on my math quiz. WOO yeah I got 1 point above the average, go meeee...

My dad lit some candles today for the tragedy...and there was a candlelight vigil in the neighboring town I think, although I didn't go. Mmwell. Candles are cool. I lit a virtual candle...I forget the URL for the page, but it was cute, little candles floating around and you click on the unlit one. Yuuup.

What else did I do today? Oh I had a really good pizza. " has cheese! How could you!", there wasn't too much cheese on it, it was one of those Amy's Organic things, and it was really good. I mean, frozen pizza, pop it in the oven. It had brocolli, tomato slices, and pesto sauce instead of tomato sauce. I would try the soy pizza, but they always put casein in it, which is not good for you, although I don't remember why. It's like glue. Kind of. Not really. I forget. I guess the soy cheese pizza hasn't been perfected yet.

Mmmwell, I think Ben Folds was supposed to be on Conan tonite..but of course no shows are on, so I'll watch the NEWS! :)
Lina wrote this on her website:

How could I possibly go to sleep?

Getting dressed again.
Finding comfort by the keyboard.

Just read this:
Björk dedicated one Song for the people in NYC called "Manhattan". She cried. What is a Björk-gig when so many People died today. Michael, Stuttgart 23.55"

I feel guilty for feeling relieved that she wasn't there. That she is safe. That she is alive. But the world is scary enough right now without the comfort and hope her music gives me. I need her to keep being constant.

The idea of 10 000 people gone is too big to grip.
It makes me nauseous.

Somehow, the only song I can hear over and over in my head is Radiohead's "How To Disappear Completely"...

I'm not here
This isn't happening

:( At least Bjork wasn't in NY at the time...I mean, she lives there now, but...yeah...and How To Disappear Completely would be really sad now, so I wouldn't even try listening to it.

I think Broadway shows are resuming today, and I'd think it's hard to put on a show, especially if it's a comedy or something. How do you put on a show, you know? It's a job but eh...I dunno..

This is just crazy...some people never learn. Humans just get more terrible...

Z100 has a webcam up which shows the NYC skyline and it's pretty cool. Z100 is so different now, I mean now they don't play as much "annoying" music, and it's interesting to hear them talk about all this stuff because they're not a news radio station, it's not like...well I dunno, I was listening to NPR and the tone is just different with the two radio stations. Maybe more...normal? Conversational...down to earth...yeah. And then every now and then they play a song that I've never heard before on Z100, or ever in general...

September 13, 2001

I never knew there was a I feel stupid. Where have I been? Yeesh.

If that doesn't make you smile (or, something) I don't know what will...interesting shirt. I wonder how he feels about the state of NYC today...
School is hell.

But anyway. Other stuff to talk about first. Diana made a nice pictorial tribute so check that out. Pretty sad really, but then..of course it is, what am I talking about?

Right now I'm donating some money at the American Red Cross site. $100...that'll buy...ten blankets? Well I'm giving $50 and my mum is too. :) Since I'm not donating blood, this isn't too shabby either. My mum said I have O

Bjork is on the cover of CMJ...I think if I type it it's less likely I'll forget...

I got an interesting e-mail from Karen:

>The following, from a Canadian newspaper, is worth sharing.
>Its subject is "America: The Good Neighbor"
>Widespread but only partial news coverage was given recently to a
>remarkable editorial broadcast from Toronto by Gordon Sinclair, a
>Canadian television commentator. What follows is the full text of his
>trenchant remarks as printed in the Congressional Record:
>"This Canadian thinks it is time to speak up for the Americans as the
>most generous and possibly the least appreciated people on all the
>earth. Germany, Japan and, to a lesser extent, Britain and Italy were
>lifted out of the debris of war by the Americans who poured in
>billions of dollars and forgave other billions in debts. None of these
>countries is today paying even the interest on its remaining debts to
>the United States.
>When France was in danger of collapsing in 1956, it was the Americans
>propped it up, and their reward was to be insulted and swindled on the
>streets of Paris. I was there. I saw it.
>When earthquakes hit distant cities, it is the United States that
>hurries in to help. This spring, 59 American communities were
>flattened by tornadoes. Nobody helped.
>The Marshall Plan and the Truman Policy pumped billions of dollars into
>discouraged countries. Now newspapers in those countries are writing
>the decadent, warmongering Americans.
>I'd like to see just one of those countries that is gloating over the
>erosion of the United States dollar build its own airplane. Does any
>other country in the world have a plane to equal the Boeing Jumbo Jet,
>Lockheed Tri-Star, or the Douglas DC10? If so, why don't they fly them?
>do all the International lines except Russia fly American Planes?
>Why does no other land on earth even consider putting a man or woman on
>moon? You talk about Japanese technocracy, and you get radios. You talk
>about German technocracy, and you get automobiles. You talk about
>technocracy, and you find men on the moon-not once, but several
>safely home again. You talk about scandals, and the Americans put theirs
>right in the store window for everybody to look at. Even their
>are not pursued and hounded. They are here on our streets, and most of
>unless they are breaking Canadian laws, are getting American dollars
>and pa at home to spend here.
>When the railways of France, Germany and India were breaking down
>age, it was the Americans who rebuilt them. When the
>Pennsylvania Railroad and the New York Central went broke, nobody loaned
>an old caboose. Both are still broke.
>I can name you 5000 times when the Americans raced to the help of
>other people in trouble. Can you name me even one time when someone else
>raced to the Americans in trouble? I don't think there was outside help
>during the San Francisco earthquake.
>Our neighbors have faced it alone, and I'm one Canadian who is damned
>of hearing them get kicked around. They will come out of this thing with
>their flag high. And when they do, they are entitled to thumb their nose
>the lands that are gloating over their present troubles. I hope Canada
>one of those."
>Stand proud, America!
>This is one of the best editorials that I have ever read or heard
>regarding the United States. It is nice that one man realizes it. I
>only wish that the rest of the world would realize it. We are always
>blamed for everything, and never even get a thank you for the things
>we do.
>I would hope that each of you would send this to as many people as you
>and emphasize that they should send it to as many of their friends until
>letter is sent to every person on the web. I am just a single American

It's pretty interesting, isn't it?

Anyway, school sucks, but there's not much point in me talking about that really doesn't matter. I mean, I'm just real strange I think. I kind of hate it. I hated walking home too. Some people shouted at me! I don't know why, I'm pretty sure I didn't know them. This has happened before...what is wrong with these people? I mean, it's not a nice gesture. I'm just walking home, what's the big deal? The first day I walked home with Aliza a lot more people were making noises at us from their cars...? Sigh.

I hate gym. The teacher must think I'm an idiot. Before class started he asked me if I understood what he was talking about, like getting involved in the game and doing stuff, and I said...yeah...I DID understand. Just because I don't do something doesn't mean I don't understand. But I'm the only person like that I think. So. That's great. I wanted to die after class finally ended. We were playing ultimate frisbee..I used to LIKE that game. I really did. In Taiwan I remember playing it, the way we did it the girls were against girls and boys against boys, which I think made it more fun, but now it's just like some really bad torture. I'm not going for the stupid frisbee, what's so hard to comprehend? I caught it once and I had no idea who to throw it to. My mind doesn't work that fast, that's why I don't like sports, I mean you have to think fast and I never have any idea what to do. It's kind of late to work on that NOW, so I think "screw it"...can anyone understand what I'm talking about? I'm the only person in my gym class with some kind of mental retardation as far as sports playing ability goes. Why doesn't..SCHOOL understand that gym class is like band and art, as in you take it if you enjoy it, it's a skill that you don't have different levels for. Everyone is treated equally when it is obvious that everyone is NOT equal. I know I sound like I'm making a big deal out of such a trifle thing, but I'm only getting older, and it gets worse every year generally, except maybe in Taiwan when gym may have been fun.

My mum bought tons of newspapers today. She couldn't get any yesterday, they were all gone I would suppose, but now we have some...yay...lasting memories. :P

Yikes...there have been so many stories of close calls and stuff. My mum told me about someone who slept late, so he was like trying ot get to work in the twin towers and then he finds out what happened, that's freaky.

Cristen...SHIN splints..okay, i've like never had that before, but yeah it feels like something that would be called shin splints. Cos it feels splinty. Hehe. Good description, yeah? How would I walk any other way without using the back of my foot first? hehe.

Rebbie...I told my mum about donating blood, and she told me you have to weigh a certain weight...she weights less than 100 pounds! Yeesh. I definitely way more...I gained back the weight i lost while I had stitches in my mouth, OH well.

I will say that eating made me very happy today after school. There's been lots of stuff bothering me (besides all this attack on america stuff) grandparents are here and they're very annoying, of course they don't know that, it's just the way they act. Well then. I'm full of yummy food. Falafel!

September 12, 2001

This is definitely surreal. And sad. Another before and after.

I was at Windows on the World (I think that's the name) when I was little, I didn't even know that! I kind of remember. But now I can't say I wasn't in the Twin Towers...well one of them. The Windows on the World by the way is, I think, a restaurant at the top of one of the towers where you can see...lots of stuff. I remember looking out the window once and being totally freaked out. Hey, I was elementary school.

Mm okaaay I guess that's all I have to say for now. Woopee doo.
God it's so hard to concentrate on ANYTHING! This morning I was tired as hell and it's just hard to think of anything besides buildings exploding and people jumping out of buildings and body parts being blown all over the place....okay, maybe it's not that hard to think of something else, but well that's what I'm thinking of. I'm not afraid of more terrorists coming and doing crazy stuff, I guess I'm still thinking "What the hell happened?"

...but anyway, I hate school a lot. Gym class was hell. The teacher figured out my name though. I must really stand out, I'm the only person in the class that looks like they wanna die or kill something. I think. I hate frisbee. It's so useless. The teacher said if I just moved then I could play well...that's like saying in physics, if I knew what I was doing, then I'd do well. And we know I don't...

For the first period of physics the teacher told us why the building may have collapsed...foofoo..and then the second period, I dunno what the teacher was talking about. I still don't understand anything.

In history we just talked about yesterday. We did that in English too. You know what I find moronic? The way all these guys think they know everything, like who did all this, why they did it, what the US government is going to do, and they go "The US should do this....the US should do that..." Do they honestly think they know...everything? Like they think they know what's best for hundreds of millions of people? I don't get it. I mean I'm saying "guys" because no girls in my classes really said stuff like that...

And I just realized the other day how little I say in a day of school. I have opinions, but I don't care to voice them. I mean, that's what I do here, and you see how enjoyable that is, right? I'm not the kind of person who just calls out and stuff, my whole life whenever i do that, it's like I don't exist, and sometimes I find it very strange.

But anyway...I have type O blood. I don't think I can donate since I'm only 16 and I don't have a blood donor card obviously, but I wouldn't mind if they really needed it. I don't think I'm O negative...but I'm O something, right? I would donate money, that's easier.

So anyway...what else to talk about...well, today I really hated walking home. Not sure why. I'm so out of shape, the front of my lower legs always hurt. What is that part called? And then after a while the rest of my leg gets sore. That's pathetic, 15 minutes of walking and by the end of it I'm like...limping. It would be so easy for me to get run over my a car. I remember last year I wanted to have a car plow into me (don't ask) and I just realized, I could run into the road and get hit too. Um...I'm not going to do that, I'm just

I hate English. I mean I have for the past year, and tomorrow I have an in class essay. The teacher gave us the questions, thank god, there are three and we just choose one. I don't know what to do. I mean I have hardly any idea. Stupid book...nothing jumps out...oh well. Essays are stupid anyway. I'm not gonna be a writer when I grow up, and if I suddenly decided to, I definitely wouldn't write about novels and crap.

I wonder if there's microscopic crap floating around the air in NJ. Diana said that there are fumes in her house...and it smells. Yum. Toxic air...never good.

September 11, 2001

Look at these pictures (courtesy of Rebecca's dad's friend's brother). God that's freaky. I mean it's not even really really close, but it's a lot closer than I'd wanna be! So much smoke. POOF!

Diana told me that when she stepped out of her house (in Brooklyn) she could see and smell the smoke and see ashes...yikes...that's freaky. I wouldn't want to wake up to that.

Well I think I'm done talking about this for now. I'll go to bed and read a bit...oo...
Holy crap.

Well you know what I'm going to talk god, it happened HOURS ago, but...ahh!

Anyway. I guess I'm glad I don't live in NY now. Still, stuff was kinda hectic in school today.

I was in 3rd period when I heard about the World Trade Center being totally destroyed, although it happened when I was in 2nd period...and then for 3rd and 4th period I had physics like usual. The principal gave an announcement on the intercom, and the auditorium was open for people who just wanted to talk to a counselor or something. I was thinking, "Is this really necessary? We're in NJ..." but lots of people in my school have parents who work in Manhattan and a handful must work in the WTC.

So in 5th period (history) we just watched CNN the whole time and jeez it's freaky! Especially the footage of the second plane just crashing into the tower and this big cloud going FOOM! It's funny though, on the different channels they've given this whole tragedy a different name..."Terrorism in America", "Attack in America"...blah blah blah...yikes. This is going to affect everyone! But obviously if you live in like...I dunno, Kansas, then it's not the same as living on the east coast or something. In my class this guy left cos...well I'm not completely sure, but he's like an air ground controller or something and he can fly and airplane? It seems really weird to me because I wouldn't trust him with anything, but there ya go...

Anyway, people started going home and stuff. Tons of people whipped out their cell phones and called their parents. A lot of people were crying. Not TONS but some. I noticed one girl from my physics class, she said he dad worked near the WTC...thats freaky, I mean if he was really close then something probably happened. Another one of my friends was crying just because it's so sad. I've heard some other stories student's dad died, and maybe this other girl's mum died. One person's dad worked in the building and decided to get a coffee 5 minutes before the plane crashed, my god! After that Starbucks would be my savior. And this guy in my English class, his dad was on the ferry going to NJ from Manhattan and he saw the building just...POOF. God.

So needless to say, I didn't do anything for most of the day. Half of the people were gone! And...I just walked home like any other normal day. It's freaky. I mean, what's going to happen now? This is the most terrible thing to happen think of some other terrible thing. I don't mean death wise, sure, earthquakes and floods are very costly, but this is something else. Thousands of people are dead and injured. I hope I don't know any of em.

All the explosions and people running in the streets, that was pretty disturbing to watch, but also all the people in Palestine cheering and rejoicing, making the peace sign (how ironic is that?) and looking...happy. How could they? I mean, this is really sick, these kids have these terrible thoughts to think that this is some great thing. It's not just kids, but mainly that's what I saw, and that's really sad. Why would anyone be happy to see all this death and destruction, jesus christ...

And then there's the small is 9/11/01...nine-one-one? Some strange coincidence? :P