October 19, 2001

I forgot to mention that yesterday, my butt really hurt. How pleasant...and it still hurts today, somewhat. Actually, maybe not my butt..well around there and my legs. I don't know WHY because obviously I don't do any strenuous activities. Yesterday I just noticed after waking up that i felt sore, and then it got worse throughout the day (probably cos of sitting on my butt a lot) and then it started to hurt to walk/run/live so....yeah. I still don't know why. I think it's a little better today, doesn't hurt much when I walk. Does that even make sense? "I can't participate in gym today...cos I've got a sore butt..."

Well, I did play in gym. ...somewhat? There would usually be 4 people per lacross team, but someone was absent and one person had sparined her ankle so there were three people...so generally there was a better chance that i had to CATCH the ball. I didn't once catch it though. It must have looked very pathetic. Not that it gets me too depressed or angry, just a little. First of all, that whole butt thing made running hurt more than it already does, so I didn't feel like running after the ball. So the other team always got it, gee, I'm a letdown..maybe if the ball was a COOKIE I'd run after it. But then I'd eat it.

uh. It wasn't a cookie! At one point it rolled somewhat near me but it keeepppt rooollliing so I had to "run" after it, although technically I was shuffling. A girl from the other team bolted by to get it, but then a girl from my team must have said something which gave the other girl the idea to just let me have it. So she jsut stood there as I scooped up the ball and most likely made a crappy throw to my team mate. A nice gesture, I guess, cos it was pretty pathetic, yeah? It just felt weird because everyone else playing is usually so vicious when they play, but in a fun way because they're all friends and I'm more like "Is it time to go in yet? PLEEEAAASE?"

So then I thought "I wonder if this is what disabled people feel like"...that's kind of a weird thing to think I guess. I mean mentally and physically disabled people. Cos other people would probably be nicer to them or help them out more than a normal person. Er...actually, I forgot exactly what my point was. Then again if you were mentally disabled, you might be more oblivious to the fact that everyone around was being more helpful and nice than the average human being.

Oh yeah, I might be wrong. Eh well. There is a girl in the special ed class named Emily and she is very nice. I dunno if she's just very nice to everyone or if she likes saying hi to me a lot...from the first day I walked in there she said hello and asked my name. The thing is that coming from her it doesn't sound like a just-trying-to-be-polite hello, it's like a genuinely happy-to-see-you hello. Does that make sense? I don't help tutor her though, I help this guy named Jon who seems to not like paying attention to me. He does the work alright, but he's in his own world I think. If you saw him you might see what I mean. Or maybe he's just very absorbed in his work, I don't know. My fearis that I'll give the wrong answers or say something wrong to him...or anyone in that class really. I'm "supposed" to be smart! Gr.

Rolling Stone gave Drukqs one star...man that's pretty mean! Then again, I haven't heard the whole thing. I downloaded some clips of songs and some of them were okay. The album is a double CD set, so maybe there's a lot of filler on it, but there's definitely stuff on there that I like (54 Cymru Beats!). Soo..woo!

Aliza and I stayed after school...we drew another picture, this time of Barney from the Flinstones...hm. He's pretty easy to draw. So yay. I guess I got about an hour of community service in there. I don't see it as much of a service to the community, but...neh.

Tomorrow, PSATS. How fun. I'm not nervous about it or anything, I think some people are, but maybe that's cos i took it last year. If i get lower than last year though, then I will be reallllyy disappointed. Other than that, I'm just really annoyed that I have to go to school at 7:45 on a SATURDAY. Why couldn't our school be like other schools and let us take it on Tuesday during class time? I think the sophomores actually took some portion of the test that day, and it seems stupid to me, cos it's really for the juniors. Sophomores....grrrrr.

I almost fell asleep during physics again. I think it's a combination of the class being really boring and the time of the class (about 9:10 - 10:44) that makes me tired. I didn't wake up today at 6 like usual, I didn't have much use to go on the internet at that time...but the extra sleep didn't really do anything, cos the day still kinda sucked. Gah!


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