September 27, 2001

What the...ARRGRGGGGHHH! For god's sake, what the hellll is happening? Everything in my beck folder is gone! I had tons of stuff in there. I couldn't even guess how long it took me to upload all those mp3s and stuff...what happened? I didn't delete them! I'm so pissed...and I was already in a bad mood, cos I hate playing the stupid piano, I'm not going to play piano my whole life. And this stupid...thing...I don't want to upload all those things. Stupid internet is slow as poop. Hate...everything. Only one person voted. What the hell? Can't you spend one second to help me out in the slightest bit? I guess not, I'm not worth helping...well that explains a lot.

Today I have piano lessons. Yay. I hate the stupid theory crap. I can't play the songs right. I slouch over too much and my fingers aren't curved enough I think. So everything sounds like crap. I should stop taking piano lessons I think. But if I do, I won't really have anything else. I think I'm starting my Japanese lessons next week. Hm.

I registered for the PSAT. It would be sad if I did worse this year than I did last year. It's possible though, isn't it? I got a 1230 last year or something. I thought that was pretty good. By my standards at least. I think 1000 would have been good. Oh well. I haven't been preparing in any way. I just don't really care about the SATs. I haven't signed up for any SAT IIs. Those aren't absolutely necessary to get into every college, and since I don't care what college I go to, does it matter? Everyone is going to tell me "You should take an SAT II, blah blah blah"...and everyone knows kind of what they want to do in college, and kind of what college they want to go to, right? I've never known. I don't even know where I want to live, and to me thats the most important part. I don't know if that sounds stupid, but then who really cares. So why don't I have any idea what I want to do? Oh well.

My hands are freezing. That doesn't make playing the piano any more fun either.

My mum wants to go to the mall. I don't like malls. What would i do there? She wants to eat and see a movie. Maybe I'll feel like it. Hmph. I wanted to go to NY. I'd never object to that. My mum doesn't want to do anything that would make my dad mad or annoyed and if we go to NY he'll be mad because it costs so much to park, and with the toll and crap it ends up being a lot by his standards. Then theres the other stuff like shopping and eating. He'd wanna kill us. I don't think we should care what my dad thinks, because he's stupid anyway. What is he going to do if we go to NY, really. I want to see a concert. That won't be for a while. Foof. Foof. There are few things I enjoy in life I think.


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