September 12, 2001

God it's so hard to concentrate on ANYTHING! This morning I was tired as hell and it's just hard to think of anything besides buildings exploding and people jumping out of buildings and body parts being blown all over the place....okay, maybe it's not that hard to think of something else, but well that's what I'm thinking of. I'm not afraid of more terrorists coming and doing crazy stuff, I guess I'm still thinking "What the hell happened?"

...but anyway, I hate school a lot. Gym class was hell. The teacher figured out my name though. I must really stand out, I'm the only person in the class that looks like they wanna die or kill something. I think. I hate frisbee. It's so useless. The teacher said if I just moved then I could play well...that's like saying in physics, if I knew what I was doing, then I'd do well. And we know I don't...

For the first period of physics the teacher told us why the building may have collapsed...foofoo..and then the second period, I dunno what the teacher was talking about. I still don't understand anything.

In history we just talked about yesterday. We did that in English too. You know what I find moronic? The way all these guys think they know everything, like who did all this, why they did it, what the US government is going to do, and they go "The US should do this....the US should do that..." Do they honestly think they know...everything? Like they think they know what's best for hundreds of millions of people? I don't get it. I mean I'm saying "guys" because no girls in my classes really said stuff like that...

And I just realized the other day how little I say in a day of school. I have opinions, but I don't care to voice them. I mean, that's what I do here, and you see how enjoyable that is, right? I'm not the kind of person who just calls out and stuff, my whole life whenever i do that, it's like I don't exist, and sometimes I find it very strange.

But anyway...I have type O blood. I don't think I can donate since I'm only 16 and I don't have a blood donor card obviously, but I wouldn't mind if they really needed it. I don't think I'm O negative...but I'm O something, right? I would donate money, that's easier.

So anyway...what else to talk about...well, today I really hated walking home. Not sure why. I'm so out of shape, the front of my lower legs always hurt. What is that part called? And then after a while the rest of my leg gets sore. That's pathetic, 15 minutes of walking and by the end of it I'm like...limping. It would be so easy for me to get run over my a car. I remember last year I wanted to have a car plow into me (don't ask) and I just realized, I could run into the road and get hit too. Um...I'm not going to do that, I'm just

I hate English. I mean I have for the past year, and tomorrow I have an in class essay. The teacher gave us the questions, thank god, there are three and we just choose one. I don't know what to do. I mean I have hardly any idea. Stupid book...nothing jumps out...oh well. Essays are stupid anyway. I'm not gonna be a writer when I grow up, and if I suddenly decided to, I definitely wouldn't write about novels and crap.

I wonder if there's microscopic crap floating around the air in NJ. Diana said that there are fumes in her house...and it smells. Yum. Toxic air...never good.


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