September 25, 2001

god crappit, I hate this stupid computer. the internet sucks too. i'm gonna complain if you're wondering. yeah i do that a lot, but heres a warning, I'M GOING TO COMPLAIN, now you can decide whether or not you wanna read the rest of this crap. The internet is slow and heck, i hope my mum doesnt pay for this, but i think she does...juno sucks. dial up connection sucks. and then the stupid stuff at the bottom went all freezee on me, and i was listening to even, and then it went FREEZY for christ's sake...

argh life is stupid. look what i'm doing with my life. i'm sitting here and typing crap. never a good day. i used to think that every day got worse, which meant that ever day was the worst day of my life, and that's not really true (I got that from the movie Office Space pretty much) but still, I wouldn't mind you know, NOT living. I say that lot, I don't know if I really mean it.

The internet is weird. I like it because i can think about what i want to say and then type out stuff, but then i realized sometimes I might be in a bad mood but i can still appear happy on the internet, like if I'm typing in here or chatting with someone or writing an e-mail. so how do you know what anyone is like? you dont really. i dont mean people going around with fake identities, but when i chat with people i usually seem pretty perfky and chipper and some other really stupid adjectives, but i'm not always. sometimes i AM but most of the time i just dont feel like being mean to someone i dont know very well just cos i'm in a bad mood. i'm thinking mainly of random beck fans that have messaged me over the years (not that many actually) and...well...I dunno. i'm not really good friends with any beck fans, why is that? i must be one of those strange beck fans. i think about that a lot. i like beck. or maybe i'm just telling myself that.

i really hate being in a bad mood on the internet when i'm chatting with someone, because i dont want to bring the other person down, you know? i think at most i've probably been all p-oed 2 or 3 times. maybe less. its safe to say there are about a bagillion things no one knows about me. or maybe...not...my brain..it hurts. feel the pain! *zap*. that was mean of me, sorry. don't feel the pain. i'll absorb it like a sponge. (sponges are scaaary)...

i want to eat dinner now. i think i'll go do that. i feel really cold like my ORGANS just froze over. that happens sometimes, you know the feeling? its a terrible feeling. actually, this isn't really. last year was worse. i think last year i started going crazy around this time, and october too. nothing has really happened yet THIS year that would make me want to kill all the kids in my school and walk in the middle of traffic, isn't that nice? yeah, always a good thing. why are you reading this?

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