April 21, 2001

I'm so tired. My eyes are going baaad...everything just looks weird. I mean I'm guessing everything could look clearer, but I don't know. During the play, I was just annoying with my glasses, I couldn't see anyone really really clearly...lights were making my glasses all glare-ee. Sigh.

Don't you hate it when your chest hurts and your heart feels like it will explode and you feel cold and fuzzy-warm at the same time, and you want to look away but then you find that you can't? And if you keep looking, you keep feeling like your organs will explode in a fireworks display of human entrails? I hate that. I hate it all. :(

You know what I can't stand? Doing stuff in groups of three. It never works. I tell myself, "Don't get in a group of three, it'll be horrible!" but I do anyway. I'm always the odd one out because I can only be happy with one other person. Introducing another person into the picture pushes me out, until I'm needed again. I'm weird. Well today I went to the play with two other friends...one came along at the last minute, and I sort of wished she hadn't, because I didn't plan on it. She said she probably wouldn't be able to go, and then she calls me saying she doesn't want to go by herself. She just bugs me sometimes...and she was chewing gum during the whole play. I thought I would have to rip out my ears. I don't chew gum. Sometimes I'm very talkative, and then sometimes I'm not, and then sometimes I don't talk at all and breathing even goes to a minimum...

Anyway, the play was quite good. I think before I wasn't very interested in going, but then...something made me want to go. The people in the play are quite talented, especially the people who were singing. One of the lead people was a sophomore and I never knew she acted and sang (with a NY accent). I wish I could do that, but I know I can't. I've got intestinal problems. Yup. I got worms. They speak to me in my dreams and tell me to eat spaghetti-os.

So, yup.


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