March 22, 2001

Man, today was quite sucky. Anything related to band sucks, pretty much. I don't know how this whole hatred of band started, probably because I don't fit into the whole band community at all, but in 6th and 7th grade I think I enjoyed band. Maybe because I was sure I was in a good band. But I don't know. And in addition to not liking band, just lately I've got a NEW reason to dislike band even more...it's incredibly stupid though, and it's my own problem I guess..

Anyway, today was the little band competition. We were told to be at school at 4:30 and expect to be back around 10 PM. JOY. Well the buses came late so we left around 6. I was reading my new Radiohead book I just got in the mail today...it has some hilarious pictures in it, I have to say. I mean, they're not really that funny, but to me they looked funny for some reason. In one picture, Thom has a band-aid on his forhead, which reminded me of Space Camp because I had adorned my forhead with a band-aid from the result of scratching a pimple I think. Everyone was going "Why do you have a band-aid on your forehead?" (maybe they thought I had a hole in my head and if I didn't wear it my brain would ooze out?) and after a while I decided I'd rather just not wear it.

Anyway, back to the present. The band competition wasn't complete torture, but staying home would have been a million times better. The bus was quite crowded, I just listened to my MP3 player though. It was cold and a bit rainy when we got there (dark, too) and I was quite cold, shivering a lot. Playing was poopy, I don't play very well and played a bunch of wrong notes. And then for the next few hours after that I read my Radiohaed book (From A Great Height by Jonathan Hale). There was an amusing anecdote of Ed's about serving food to Stephen Hawking and how odd it sounded to hear his robotic "voice"...maybe I'll write it later, I remember it was very funny. :)

After the thing was over people were pretty disappointed because we didn't win any awards, except one which every band got anyway. I really didn't care, which might be sad, but...I didn't! I shouldn't pretend to care, should I? Some band people are quite freaky about band, you know, I'm just not a band...freak. People in my band had feelings of resentment towards the people that won, although I don't know why, supposedly we played better but I wasn't paying attention...can't people just be happy for them? I guess it's not something I'd understand, I mean I'd never say "Hey let's trash Fairlawn's bus!" or "I can't believe it, our flute player was so much better!"

Yeah.

Okay I guess that's all. Not much else going on in Robyn land. Well I realized that I'd rather be alone and depressed than around other people and depressed...actually I knew that already, but going to the competition and not having anyone to really talk to sort of brought that idea back to me. The horrors of marching band also came back when my band teacher said I should join marching band...at least I THINK that's what she asked. All I remember from MB is coldness, rainy-ness, having to wake up on Saturday mornings to go to retarded football games, and crying/feeling like dying during band camp and practices. Of course, that's just me.

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