December 16, 2000

Last night I stayed up til 3-somethig reading this new book I got called "Stargirl" by Jerry Spinelli. It was a very interesting book...about this girl who calls herself Stargirl and starts her sophomore year at a new school called Mica High...well that sounds sort of boring but I guess you have to read it. She's quite odd, but not in a freaky way. She's always happy and nice to everyone and cheers for the opposing team at football and basketball games. And she plays her ukulele a lot and uses it to sing "Happy Birthday" to different people everyday. Oh, and she carries around her pet rat. I guess I'd recommend this book, although even though I liked it (well I stayed up all night reading it!) I sort of hated all the characters. Oh well. :)

I think this is why I don't like reading too much, cos if I find a book I like a lot then I'll stay up all night reading it, but there aren't that many books out there I think I would read all night, and then they lie in a bookcase with maybe 1/4th of it read. You know what I mean? So then it's a bit of a waste. I got another book called "Prozac Nation" that I've heard of..somewhere...I found a lot of interesting books just browsing the "Psychology" section at Barnes & Noble.

Today it has been raining a lot. If it had just been a few degrees colder, it woulda snowed a lot. Sigh. Of course that wouldn't happen though. It was so dark by 4 o clock it was sort of scary. I had went to the Japanese shopping center with my mum, bought some little holiday gifts for my friends, some foooood. FOOOOOOOOD.

Right now I'm listening to Yo La Tengo. What does that mean anyway? I'm guessing it's spanish for something...? I like their music, but maybe not enough to buy the CD. I borrowed it from the library. A song that I really like right now is "Let Down" by Radiohead...I just noticed that near the end Thom's voice mixes in with...Thom's voice, a much higher voice and it's really beautiful, he holds onto this one note for a long time and it doesn't sound like he's gonan pass out or anything. I used to think his voice wasn't really amazing or anything, but it is!

I think it is time I eat dinner...

...okaay, I'm back! Uh. Yeah. Leftover chinese food and rice. Cooked with the aid of a microwave.

Last night I was reading Twist mag, which I still get for some reason...I think all of my other subscriptions I had to teen magazines have fizzled out. I used to read EVERY SINGLE ONE in existance, I swear, when I was like...uh...13? Yeah, 8th grade. First year as a teenager. And then the next year I started to dislike those kind of magazines, and now I really don't like them, it's sort of weird. What happened? As I was reading the 100th way to "Snag Your Crush" I wanted to rip up the magazine, burn the pieces, and throw the ashes out the window. Of course, I didn't, I just imagined it. I also hate reading this part called "Breaking Up Brought Us Closer Together" or something like that...I dunno why, just bothers me. Like what is wrong with these people? Do these teenagers have anything better to do then buy trendy clothes, go to parties, think day and night about a distant crush who probably doesn't care the least about them, figure out the best eyeshadow that will go with their miniskirt, cheat one homework and tests, blah blah blah blah blah?

See, aren't I a horrible person? Not all teenagers are like that, I know. I noticed that I hate so many things, but then I incorporate a lot of those things too. Somehow. I can't think of them now, but generally I am everything I hate. Okay, not exactly like that, like I sort of hate it when people are too happy, but then sometimes I am happy..sometimes, so then I look back and sort of hate that too, like I probably didn't deserve to be that happy, cos I haven't done much deserving of anything. And then when my friends say something like "Robyn, you're so good at blah blah blah!" I know it's not really true, I'm just lucky, and I might be good at some things but not exceptionally good. Not that I have to be exceptionally good at anything, but this just shows that after high school I'm going nowhere really.

There was something else I wanted to say...ohhh...blargh. I imagine doing mean things to people. Does anyone really deserve to have something bad happen to them? I dunno.

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