December 03, 2000

I just thought of something else...I get sad real easily. Well...I guess I knew that already, but I don't show it very much. It doesn't have to be something big, just ignoring me, or leaving me alone, when you should all know better than to leave me alone! Okay, I may like being alone, but that's cos I'm VERY used to it, and I guess when you get used to something you might like it after a while, but it's still depressing as hell I'm telling you, to be in a classroom of people and then you're sitting all alone without anyone withing a 5 foot radius of you because you give off weird rays that repel normal people, and god forbid that you are NORMAL because then the world would just stop in its tracks. You get it? So next time anyone sees me sitting alone and you feel those rays tell me why it's such a bore to be around Robyn.

Actually, I change my mind, don't tell me ANYTHING because that would be a turn of events, just sit with someone else and look happy, oo I know there is some burning hatred stuff inside. Or that is just me. Oh crap, it is. Dammit! You irritated me without even doing anything to meee! I hate you.

I hate hating things, but that's too ironic isn't it? So I guess in reality, one part of me says I don't have anything, and then the other side which is being beaten every second of the day and is tied to a train track in the middle of the southwest where a train comes by ever 5 seconds and runs over it and bashes its skull in with its tons of steel says it hates EVERYTHING and especially you. One part of me says "I want to feel love, wouldn't that just be peachy?" and the other part says "I hate your love, it's not real. I know you don't mean it because no one could possibly love me."

You see that first person but I'm really the second. You can say it's horrible, but it's not. I'm not gonna murder anyone, I promise. Just don't make me too mad, okay? Because you don't really "love" me, no matter what you say.


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