December 01, 2000

Howdilly ooo!

Okay so more stuff depression-related has happened. Lets seeeee....well I don't remember exactly how I felt, but Tuesday morning I was a wreck, prolly from getting like 3 hours of sleep, and I was sad and cranky and stuff. I REALLY didn't want to go to school, it was like...I dunno, I just felt like it was the evilest place on earth. It is sometimes.

So I walk down the hall to my locker, and I thought I would cry right there, that hallway made me all depressed. But I didn't! Okay, so I got my stuff and went to the gym for first period, and THAT'S where the tears started flowing. Only a little, not like I was BAWLING, I mean, come on, no need to attract attention. But then one of my other friends came in and noticed..well i guess you'd notice something like that, your friend slightly hunched over, wiping her eyes, sniffing...well.

I didn't have to take gym, I guess the teachers didn't know what to do with me, and I really didn't want to play. Basketball is a sucky sport anyway. Everyone was like "What's wrong Robyn?" and I didn't have much of an answer for them, because I didn't have a reason with much substance you know? What would I say? "No, nothing's wrong, I'm just sad and felt like crying! Nope, no one died, no one did anything mean to me, it's just my brain!" Yeah. So I just said "...nothing...".

But strangely, the day after I was perfectly fine, almost on top of the world as far as...I could go I mean. I mean..I was "normal" not really sad or happy...well happier than sad I guess. I went from ultimate low to the opposite pretty much. But this has happened before. I mean, when I get over the depression I feel like it couldn't possibly happen again, but it always does, so I just accept it. I guess it's..okay...

Sooo! Today was rather nice, I had two free periods and half of computer science because I didn't have to work on my program. I can't say I got much work done...hm..what did I do? I studied for a math quiz that i prolyl failed anyway (I didn't know how to do like, 5 of the problems...ugh) and it's Friday so ...no school! I watched a lot of TV, a tape of various programs I recorded this week because I hadn't had much time to watch TV.

Is it just me or is the Simpsons not as funny as it used to be? I mean...I dunno, it's starting to lose it's touch. Futurama is a really funny show, but it hasn't started yet. I remember the Simpsons as being the greatest show...and I was watching it and it wasn't THAT funny, it was SORT of funny. The X-Files was totally freaky, I mean there was this giant white parasitic slug thing in Scully's back and then Doggett had to cut her back open with his knife before the slug got to her brain and that was really one of the grossest things I've ever seen. There was this cult who thought the slug was a reincarnation of Christ or something...there are prolly crazies out there in the world like that. Oh lord.

Anyway. Uhhh..what else....I've been getting pretty hooked on Roswell. And during the show they played "How to Disappear Completely" which was just perfect! I'm listening to it right now, hehe. Also, on that David Blaine special on Wednesday they played two Radiohead songs which I thought was pretty neat...although I don't see how "Creep" was much of an appropriate song, they played that during the ending credits. Hm. Well. Whatever! David Blaine looked like he was going to die or something after getting out of that giant ice thing, I mean he's recovering now but he said he was hallucinating and thought he DIED, that's too creepy. :P

Er...yeah. So thats bout it. My Beck site hasn't been updated in a while..no beck stuff goin on! Poot!

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