November 13, 2000

Retainers are really annoying. Well for me at least, cos when your nose is stuffy it's very uncomfortable to...breathe. So this morning at 4-5 AM I suppose, I got up cos I couldn't breath and tried clearing up Mr. Nose but that wouldn't work. I bet if you could see up someone's stuffy nose, it'd be a really gross sight. Anyway I went to the bathroom and took my retainer out, but then my mouth was all dry. And breathing would just evaporate what little moisture I had in my mouth...I mean, like what the heck, aren't I supposed to make saliva or something? I dunno. I'm probably sick..my thyroid is swelling again I think and my tonsils aren't lookin so hot.

Sigh. During school I was thinking about the bipolar thing, I mean...I dunno, sometimes I feel like I must have it and other time I don't see how I could POSSIBLY have it, so maybe that means I DO have it! Oh I don't know. But that's what I'm like, is that weird? Like some kind of switch from feeling poopy..to feeling a cross between poopy and happy, then being happy. For instance, after school today in the hall some guy was belting out the chorus to Loser, which made me quite happy. :) And then I got home...took a nap..yadayadayada...and now I'm here typing. Sigh.

I start gym class on wednesday. This is gonna suck, I really hate it. We had a choice of doing sports and stuff, or doing weight room stuff. The weight room is really boring, but you can use whatever equipment you want and you're not in any kind of competition, so I like it a bit. But all my friends were like "NOO don't do it, it's so boring!" And I guess it would be without friends, so now I get to do basketball, volleyball, and handball in some sort of order. Sigh. But I really don't want to, the only times I've ever cried in school have all happened during GYM class, and if that doesn't mean something, I don't know what does. Don't think I cry a lot during school, I try to avoid it..uh..yeah. And the only times I felt like throwing up or HAVE thrown up happened during gym. Not like I was sick or anything, just whatever activity we did made me nauseous for some reason. It's VERY annoying, and if you ask me kids shouldn't have to take gym. If people want to take sports, then they can do that on their own time, but it's not fair to be forced to participate in gym. I mean, it's a part of my GPA right? How about if I made someone take wind ensemble, even though they'd suck at playing an instrument and would hate it? Well I suck at sports and I hate them, so can you tell me what's the big difference?

Ugh. One of my friends always calls me whenever we have English homework to ask me about it. I don't know why, I mean she's perfectly capable of doing her own homework. Not like I can even get an A in English. And it's sort of annoying...she's not really someone you can talk to for fun on the phone. I don't mind talking on the phone if I'm not doing anything else and the conversation is fun, but unless she's got a real problem it's annoying. It's usually just "Robyn, listen to what I wrote.." Sigh. And then some of my other friends will ask me in class about an assignment the teacher just explained to us. "Didn't you...hear her a second ago? She just told us to take out books out and blah blah blah.." Why don't people just listen in class? Also, my friend in chemistry class is always talking outloud to herself...out chem teacher is pretty annoying, she doesn't know it, but...uh, yeah, and my friend will be like "Oh..god..go away! Why don't you shut up!" I mean, she doesn't say it REALLY loud, and she's a nice person, but it's SOOO ANNOYING I just feel like taping he mouth shut. She doesn't realize that it might annoy other people that her talking outloud is distracting other people, although now that I think about it I'm probably the only one being distracted...

I get irritated quite easily I think. It's annoying. ANNOOOOYING! School is so annoying. Today in computer science we got new seats cos of the new marking period and all, and now I sit in front of this annoying guy, and he always put his feat on my chair or something, and it pisses me off so much. I mean, you think people would have enough sense to realize that putting their feet on another person's chair might annoy them, especially if they move their feet a lot and rock the friggen chair ever two seconds. Some people are just retards, there seem to be a lot of those kind of people in my computer science class.

Well I'm not as sad today as I think I usually might be, so THAT'S a good sign. English class was awkward, we were doing group stuff and I couldn't think of ANYTHING to contribute, I felt so stupid cos everyone else had all these good ideas and I just wrote them down. In the end though they ended up handing in my paper cos it had the "best handwriting" which it didn't, I was writing pretty sloppy, but the guy next to me had...really bad handwriting I guess. I hope I don't get everyone a bad grade.

I'm not good at interacting with people. Although if things were up to me, I'd stay home all day.

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