November 10, 2000

HIiiii people. Heehee...I'm tired. When I'm this tired everything is like...er...CRAP I should wash my hair today. Okay then I should go up zee stairs soon. When my hair gets greasy, it's all sick and gross and crap. Sort of. Tomorrow I'm going to NY to see a show, and eat, and maybe shop, but prolly not. Ah well. I don't like to shop but shopping in NYC is so different from just going to the mall, you know? Maybe you don't know.

These little vacations from school mess me up a bit, too much time to myself, although I spend half of the day with my friend. My mum brought us to a French restaurant. I had chicken, it was good. For the appetizer, I had escargots, aka SNAILS or little-bags-of-snot. It didn't taste that bad, I'd eat it again. You have to realize they were in this delicious buttery sauce but they were good. Not too chewy. Mm. But they LOOKED gross, so it's best when eating snails not to stare at it too long before you eat it.

Back at my house, we watch a cute little movie called French Kiss. Starts of disasterous, ends in joyful happiness. I liked it, not like I'd want to see it again, but it was nice. I sort of hate those movies though, the lovey kinds.

I'm beginning to hate TV too. Today I vegetated prime-time style, conked out on the couch in front of the telly trying to not feel sick. The TV was sending out barf rays to me, got that woooozee feeling. Maybe I should get that checked. Anyway, everything just looked like ridiculous, although that's why it's TV and not reality. Those TV people piss me off, resolving their problems in a 30-minute sitcom, including commercials mind you. What is with that? Am I the only one annoyed by this? I may as well just watch PBS, but today I turned to it and I think Barney was on, which scared the crap outta me. I thought some poachers killed him by now for his oh-so-soft purple polyester shell...

Or it might not be polyester, maybe it's...cotton. Another show I was watching was Power Rangers or something, I haven't watched that for 5 years and like, what the hell, I had no idea what was going on. It was jsut so bad, but it wasn't a funny bad, more like a "This is one of the worst things ever, and I don't mean television" bad. My expectations are too high I think.

I was thinking everyone must be narrow minded in some sense, so I was like.."okay...then what's wrong with me?" in which I could say LOTS of things but I guess this whole life-has-no-meaning thing is still annoying me. Don't get me wrong, I still think it's partly true, I still dislike living, and what's worse is that there are kids out there with no food, no parents, no identity, no place to live; I wonder what I'd be like if i was one of those kids. I'd be dead in less than an hour I bet. Well it wouldn't matter, cos if I really was in that position no one would care. I think the easiest way to commit suicide...well maybe not easiest but least painful would be using carbon monoxide. Ah, the most useful thing I learned in drivers ed. I wouldn't do it though, I don't even know how to turn on the car and it prolly doesn't have a leak..well I just stand in the garage..er..nah. I'd hate that. I say, if worse comes to worse, that's what I'll do.

Am I morbid? Of so...uh...well that's my problem. Who am I talking to anyway? All this typing is making me tired, and my fingers are all frozen and crap...

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