October 11, 2000

Man today was horrible! I mean, it was bad...wait, that's pretty much the same eh?

Okay, so it was sophomore day, which is the school's attempt to bring us together in warm fuzzy happiness or something, something that would never happen. I mean, what do they want us to do, join hands and sing Kumbaya? No. As I was saying, I guess they target the sophomores cos as freshmen, we're just taking in our first high school experiences (like getting hazed by the upperclassmen!) and when juniors and seniors we'll be high and mighty, and be like, "HA we get to leave school soon, SUCKERS!" But sophomores are like, a bunch of oddly mishapen rocks that stand out and look so out of place you just wanna dump them in the nearby lake, which is quite serene with duckies and stuff. Sort of. Bad analogy, but I just wanted to say the word "duckies".

So anyway, they (the seniors who volunteered to help out us troubled youth...oh, and get out of class) were splitting us up into 20 groups, which didn't work out too well. Some guy wrote a number one on my hand and I asked if he'd put my friend, Aliza, in the same group, but he said "Friends aren't supposed to be in the same group..." Well okay, fine, be that way. In the end when the groups congregate, there is a large group of people in my group who I KNOW are all good friends, I mean maybe what that guy meant to say was, "Robyn, YOU can't have any friends in the group, but anyone else with a purpose in life is welcome!" In that group I see my friend's butthead of a crush, who isn't very nice to me, not that he's mean, but not nice, and I think, "Ugggh, this is not happening."

Then here comes the realization that there are too many people in out wonderfully close knit group. Too many people? We can't have that, the world just might blow itself up in a fit of frustration if all 20 groups didn't have an even amount of people! So I sort of just stand there, thinking "No I don't want to leave this group" because I really didn't, I mean it wasn't SUCH a bad group. Then the original dude who wouldn't let me have my friend in the same group said "You'll be a good sport and go to the other group, okay?" He wasn't really asking me if I wanted to leave (well he knew I didn't) but this whole time, I knew I was going to end up being transfered cos that's just what happens to me. I look like I won't put up much of a fight, and I won't, cos there's no point in that. I'm forced to walk to the other end of the football field, from group one to group twenty, and I REALLY don't know anyone in that group. You can see, the day just keeps getting better and better!

I get to the group and see the two senior group leaders, one which I knew from marching band last year and frightened me a bit. The first thing we do in our group is say our names and then think of an adjective that starts with the first letter of our first names and describes us. i had to go first and couldn't think of anything, so one of the seniors, Ryan I think his name was, decides that my adjective should be "ravishing". Oh god. Really, I think I could have gone with anything besides that. Like "rotten" woulda been good. *sidenote - should rotten be spelled like cotton or cotton spelled like rotten? The English language is very screwy I think* And then we play the all time favorite, duck duck goose. For god's sake I haven't played that game in 10 years! I forgot how to, apparently I was the only one who forgot. And with my luck (and I KNEW this was coming) I was the first "goose" picked. Yeah well. Fun. As much fun as running around a circle with people watching you trying to catch someone who called you a goose. Which is pretty much the point of the game.

After that....more stuff...stuff...stuff....I and pretty much separated from the group. I don't share the same interests with anyone, I really don't, and I'm not like any of these people I think. Not everyone is compatible, why force it upon us? I don't know. And these people swear waaaay too much, which doesn't surprise me or anything, but really what is the problem with these people? I'm not big on swearing, I dunno if it has anything to do with the way I'm raised (i doubt it, I think my bro swears a bit) I mean I guess to me, it's common sense or something. I mean, no WONDER kids these days don't have a large vocabulary! The only words they know are fuck, shit, damn, and many other colorful words that you would just love to hear at the dinner table on Thanksgiving while saying grace.

We did a lot of activities involving blindfolds. Man I hate those, I'm blind enough as it is. The only good thing was that for one of the activities you and a partner were blindfolded and placed far away from each other, then you'd have to find each other calling out special words you pick, and the girl who I was partners with knew my whole Beck and Rufus obsession thing, so our code words were BECK and RUFUS! I was screaming "BECK!" I think. Oo.

We also did one of those human pyramid things, which is a bad idea really, unless you get a couple-a small kindergarteners to be at the top. We could make one giant one so we decided to make two small ones, which would leave one person out and I decided to make things easy and, what the hell, be the "odd" one out. Afterwards, the Ryan guy was like "Are you okay?" Oh, NOOOO, it was my DREAM to be in the human pyramid and now all my plans for the future have been crushed! Cos I was planning to be a professional human pyramid dude. It was a little depressing I think. I guess I shouldn't be so mean, it's nice he made some attempt at caring, but throughout the day I saw plenty of phoniness (I'm really starting to sound like Holden Caufield I think) in the seniors who you know aren't really gonna care about you throughout the rest of the year, or remember your face. "Come on guys, lets see some spirit! Don't let me down!" was something the other group leader, Dawn, said a lot, or something like that. I guess it's better to have an overspirited leader than one without any at all, right? I'm not sure actually.

At some point, I must have missed it, they were giving out candy. I think I was sitting on the grass or something staring blankly at the vast...vastness...of sophomores. 280 of them or so. Candy isn't good for you anyway. I picked up some of the trash though. I hate seeing trash on the floor, really, you think the dirts and grasses are gonna appreciate a piece of waxy paper or plastic wrapper lying on top of em? Hell no! I picked up something I thought was trash but it ended up being a vanilla flavoured tootsie roll, so I ate it. Yum. Nothing like a balanced meal to make you feel good, and you know how balanced 5 different types of sugar and artificial flavouring are.

There was pizza for lunch, which was prolly the most enjoyable part of the day. I haven't had pizza in a long time, I'm not supposed to eat cheese. It was good. And I was starving, really. Ryan wanted someone to go with him to get the pizza and he said "I want Robyn to come with me" but he saw I didn't want to go, and I knew he seriously didn't want me to go. I mean he just picked me cos I'm the "quiet" one, although I don't know what he expects, like I'm gonna pour out my life story and become good buds with him as we get the pizza or something? Well someone else went, and I spread out on the semi comfy combination of grass and dirt.

I saw my friends Sheryl and Aliza so we sort of sat and ate together. Wee. This other girl was pissed off about something, and she was moody I guess, she flung this can of coke on the ground and it sort of exploded. Freakish. I really hate seeing other people all mad and stuff, I don't mean I feel bad for them, I mean I hate it. Like what is their problem? It's really bad I think, it's not fair for me to do, but it annoys the heck outta me. Like, keep the complaining to yourself, dude.

The next activity was really retarded, it was a type of relay where you had to run to the middle of the field, twirl your head around a baseball bat to get your conscious flowing in all different wacky directions, and run to the end of the field in some disoriented daze. All the teams cheated though, like some people just looked and the bat and kept running, or take it for a second and then toss it back to the senior holding it. It was stupid too cos not all the teams have the same amount of people, I'm sure. Well.

We did some more stupid stuff...yeah...like the activity where you get in a circle and have you sit on the person's lap in back of you, and the person in front of you sits on your lap, and you try not to screw things up by falling down, which by the way is impossible (on planet Earth at least...I'm not sure what it's like on Saturn). And then, FREEDOM! Yeah I wanted to get outta there.

After a brisk, fun 15 minutes walk home (of course it's fun to be nearly run over by cars every few seconds cos there's no walkway on the side of the road!), I went to the post office with my mum to mail some stuff. Yup.

Why isn't there a walkway anyway? I mean, it's right by a school, of course some kids are gonna walk home, although personally I've never seen anyone walking when I walk. Well still, there should still be a designated walkway (not covered in leaves, dirt, and branches) cos I always get a little freaky about all those cars whizzing by. Yeesh.

And that was my day. I didn't really go into the depressiveness of it all, I don't think you need that right now. All I know is that, I obviously don't need to be with friends all the time, although when I'm not with friends I don't have much fun...not much fun around people I don't know at least. COMPLETELY ALONE in my room or something, I'm okay, I mean...I'm okay, yeah. No worry about Robyn. So how dependent am I? I don't know. OH LORD! This world is messed up.


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