September 08, 2000

You know what is a wonderful song? "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." It's just so nice and simple, and when Rufus Wainwright sings it it sounds like heaven! Well ANYTHING he sings sounds so good. Beck's a great singer too, but it's not quite the same. You can really feel Rufus's voice, it's almost as if he possesses some magical...voicebox, that has been hidden for centuries, and it's finally been opened to release vibrations and beautiful things.

...uh...well you know what I mean, right? So go indulge yourself in some creamy, wonderful Rufus! CREAMY!

Today in English class we were talking about teen depression. Oh what a fun, wonderful topic! I didn't contribute much, I just thought about the subject in my own little head. Yup. One girl was talking about the media and how they "tell you what to look like, how to dress, what to be interested in" and stuff like that. I mean, I'm not listening to the media, I'll do whatever I want! Which is usually nothing. Actually, I tend to avoid whatever trend is going on. But anyway...what is wrong with kids these days? Do they need a magazine to tell them how to function or something? Cos that's pretty sad. I don't get depressed from seeing beautiful models and celebrities doing stuff, I get depressed from my life life in itself! I'm not sure what the one thing is, but so many different things just make me depressed and disappointed....

I think one of my problems is that I get too jealous of people. I mean I don't show it...at least I don't intend too. But I can't help it. I don't like being jealous of people, I feel like it's not right to feel that way, but I am, and it's very irritating. Since I don't like to talk about it with anyone I just get this horrible feeling inside my gut somewhere. I've always got this feeling that everyone else is better off than I am, which I know isn't true...okay, not EVERYONE but everyone I'm close to seems to have a better life or something's really good goin on with em, and here I am on this computer talking to you. Don't take that the wrong way, but it's a Friday night and today I've been on the net for like, 4 hours. But it's not any different from any other Friday so I guess I shouldn't complain.

Sometimes I just wonder what "normal" teenagers do. I mean, no one is really NORMAL but there has to be a "normal teenager" right? Do teens really go out to parties and have boyfriends/girlfriends and get drunk and do retarded things that they do just cos they're teens? Cos I don't know ANY of these people..okay, I might know one or two, but that's it. Then again I don't know that many people.

I think there was something else I wanted to say, but I forgot. Lucky you. :)

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