September 07, 2000

I was looking in one of my Dave Barry books about wonderfully horrendous gifts you can buy people...one of them was a worm blower. "A what?" Yeah. The container looks like an Elmer's Glue container...I suppose you stick it up the worm's...uh...you stick it up the worm and squeeze the bottle and get a nice bloated worm. I can hear those fishes now..

"...oo yeah, I'd like to get a bite of THAT worm! YEAH BABY!"

...well if fishes could think in English, you never know, it might go something like that. Or not. Preferably not.

But any, I'm not here to tell you about the joys of bloated worms! Noooo, I was put on the earth for a much better reason, not one I can think of right now, but one day it will come to me.

My glasses are so annoying! They won't stay on my head right...my ears must not be leveled correctly. Or my glasses need some adjusting. But my head is deformed after all...what is with doctors using those forcep thingies to pull babies out? That must leave marks in some people's heads. Or turn them into cone heads like me! CONE HEAD! Well not to THAT extent...but...nevermind.

You know what's great? Troy McLure in PLANET OF THE APES! MWAAAHAHAHA!

.....okay. Now it is time for me to dole out some wonderous advice. You know it's good. It's from ME!

"Sniff glue. So tastee!"

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